Divorcing extended family
Is it possible to divorce members of your extended family? Is it possible to take a look through your mental archives and decide to cast out all the family members that didn’t give a shit about you the way you needed them to?Is it even healthy for your mind and soul to embark on such a task(or adventure depending on how you look at it)?
I haven’t spoken to members of my extended family in more than 10 years. It started off as a way to try and expel all the negativity in my life then it became my new normal. I didn’t wake up and start the day with a “note to self: you’re never going to speak to your family again”. It was a gradual ascent to peace of mind.
Doing this helped me not care what my extended family’s opinions of me, my life and especially my mother were.
I made this decision sober minded which explains why I have never made the mistake of going back. I knew from the beginning what this path meant. It meant no more huge family gatherings, no more blood relations further than my immediate family, no more blood commonality. I gave up on the piece of the puzzle that society reveres and considers you an outcast for not being a part of.
I used to want to reach out to certain family members that were connected to the ones that I expelled from my existence but now they’re all just a nostalgic memory. A nostalgic memory of comfort and love that turns shades of black the longer it plays in my mind.
You would think that not caring about family has made me this cynical, cruel loner but it hasn’t. It’s made me value the relationships I forge now so much more. Perhaps I am trying to fill the gaps of aunts and uncles in these relationships. Only my subconscious could answer that. I just know I am happier with the little I have now.
A key pillar of the family recently passed away and when I was told about this news it didn’t affect me the way death of a loved one should. I felt more empathy towards his son who I consider my favorite uncle than feeling the loss of a loved one’s life.
Disturbing right?
Maybe not.
Maybe I chose to live in this world pressure free and with as little to no pretence as having them in my life would have required. Maybe I chose to decide who my loved ones are instead of accepting that I would have to love strangers because they are blood.
I unapologetically chose to live my own jaloppi life.
