Thoughts And Ideas
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Thoughts And Ideas

Every Day, Some Days, Most Days

Every day, I contemplate how not to waste time.

Some days, I don’t want to keep going.

Most days, I look forward to eating a piece of dessert.

Every day, I eat a sort of fruit.

Some days, I take a lot of time eating a chocolate bar.

Most days, I think of the weather.

Every day, I take a walk by the coast.

Some days, my eyes water from fatigue, pleading me to wrap myself up to sleep.

Most days, I feel emotionally heavy.

Every day, I drink tea.

Some days, I have no motivation to go to work.

Most days, I don’t want to be in touch with anyone.

Every day, I wish I were well-known and one of the top influential people in the world listed in People or Forbes magazines.

Some days, I wish I could be a part of a social circle.

Most days, I write mainly to analyze myself.

Every day, I think about how long I can go with a certain amount of money.

Some days, I am angry at people whom I think are good.

Most days, I feel what it’s like to be a disadvantaged person.

Every day, I tell myself to just move and certainly it means I’m doing something.

Some days, I long for an ideal life where I was born and raised.

Most days, I will my mind not to be hard on my brother for choosing to allow a virtual world take over his life.

Every day, I drink a lot of water because living a long life, even if it were hard the majority of the time, greatly interests me.

Some days, when it comes time to write, my mind is dry.

Most days, I pay attention to what people say to each other as I see it as a legitimate way to get to know people I am interested in better.

Every day, I think about what is behind the glower, the glare, the harsh voice of the people I see at work and on the streets and in the shops.

Some days, I think about the most touching yet dormant memories of my childhood and teen years.

Most days, I wonder about what’s happening in different time zones somewhere in the world as I go about my day, and if what I read about in the news describes anywhere as they really are at any given moment.

Every day, I say, “Bear”, out loud because there’s a bear in my mind that keeps me company.

Some days, I envision a bear that “hoot-hoot”s like an owl because I have the idea that animals probably learn from other species. I also think that humans take something from their wild and domestic friends. Like humans, I think animals may have an understanding of other species’ ways.

Every day, I watch people because it’s more peaceful to get to know them from afar.

Some days, I am as drawn to a TV program as I may be with a human.

Most days, I think of the European side of Istanbul but I don’t push myself to go there.

Every day, I tell myself how much dessert I want and I take great control over this.

Some days, there are thoughts in my head with comments that I never want to tell anyone to their face because they’re awfully mean.

Most days, I wonder about the same faces I notice several days in a row as if they were Rubix Cubes.

Every day, I think about investigating faraway places with the bear in my head.

Some days, I would like to drink coffee but I end up not making it at home anymore because I prefer to make it with heated milk, not hot water, and when I think about consuming a mug of milk, I feel heavy.

Most days, I want to eat a really expensive meal but I don’t because I feel that I may regret it.

Every day, I can’t relax my mind even when I wish I could.

Some days, I imagine staying at home as a homemaker and I deeply feel how unhappy that will make me; I immediately feel myself not able to breathe properly.

Most days, I don’t smile. I think I tend to have a dream-like look on my face.

Every day, I think about whether I would have the same potential and the same chances if I were anywhere in the world just being the same me.

Some days, I seriously wonder if I will ever really be physically old.

Most days, I don’t feel like I have gotten enough sleep though I sleep seven or eight hours a night, and then I wonder if I were a cat or koala in a past life, or maybe I expend more energy than I may ever realize.

Every day, I think about having better purchasing power one day so I can help my mother and brother stay afloat; they are also not well-informed about how to be active, functioning citizens in 21st century society.

Some days, I think about why some people meet more uncooperative people than others, whether it’s really their perceptions that are the ones responsible for their feelings and experiences.

Most days, I think about why some relationships still stand even when their foundations have crumbled barely holding them up.

Every day, I carry an umbrella.

Some days, I think about how to slightly change my routine.

Most days, I wonder how well well-dressed people really live (I wonder about the truth about them more than those who are shabbily-dressed).

Every day, I am conscious of the fact that I have the potential to be brainwashed just as those whom I perceive as perfectly brainwashed. I think humility is important and critical thinking and knowing what makes me me is enough because I can easily be tense and drenched in paranoia as my roommate is. I can let the taste of my favorite foods dictate me as much as people I know who do so out of boredom, as I love food very much (even more than people quite often). I have even recently realized that I can also tell people to take their own lives just as those who have washed their hands off of people completely and have chosen to say that.

I want to have more ‘every’ days than ‘some’ days and ‘most’ days.

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Deborah Kristina

Author of ‘A Girl All Alone Somewhere in the World’, ‘Confessions and Thoughts of a Girl in Turkey’, ‘From Just a Girl Grown Up in America’. (Amazon.com)