“F*** Yo’ Feelings”

I remember clearly the night the movie “Sex and the City” came out. A friend and I stopped by to see an acquaintance of mine while we were in route. They lived in the area of the theatre we wanted to attend so we grabbed our tickets then headed over to their house.

First Take

When we arrived, there were a few other people sitting around talking. We sat and talked with everyone. We talked about current events, music and why we were in the area. A slight disagreement broke out between the girls and the guys. It was truly comical.

We all wanted our voices to be heard just to prove a frivolous point. Except, one of the guys didn’t think so and seem to become annoyed. Another joke made here then a point made over there. Then out of no where, he blurts out “F*** yo feelings!”

My friend gave me this look. I look back at her. Then she gives me the signal that it was time for us to go. I was game. Our movie time was coming up anyway. Remember, we had bought our tickets prior to stopping by. It was the perfect exit strategy.

We walked out and discussed how angry he seemed. The conversation wasn’t even that serious. At least it wasn’t to us. How could something as trivial and meaningless illicit a response such as his? We were young. He was obviously angry about something and it didn’t have anything to do with us. I didn’t stay friends with my acquaintance very much longer. Hind site, we probably should’ve left immediately (like jetted straight for the door immediately) but you live and you learn.

Instant Replay

A few years later, I found myself in a similar situation. This time it was at my house. I had invited a few people over to go to the pool and have drinks. Everything was going well until one of my guest, who had been invited by another guest of mine, got a little too passionate during a conversation. They were younger and had been drinking more than everyone else so they were still mastering self control. It was very evident.

We all sat there in disbelief. The conversation was not even that serious. They were the type of person who talked with their hands and became consumed while they tried to make a point. This could be a good defense when proving a point to a jury but we were in the comforts of my home. I looked over to the person who they’d come with and said “If they don’t calm down then I’m going to have to ask you both to leave.”

I didn’t think anything was wrong with asking the person to leave. They were starting to get out of control. If anything were to happen to anyone who was present, I would’ve been the one responsible. My guest continued and the situation turned quickly. I got up and walked to my door promptly asking the two guests to leave.

The person who had brought the guest was someone I had become close with over the years. I didn’t think my decisions would be a big deal. Following the incident, I had become something like an “Anti-Christ”. I was shocked. They couldn’t believe I had put them out. I couldn’t believe that they thought I was any less of a person or “Christian” for asking someone who was being disrespectful to leave.

Some Perspective

Both scenarios were proof that not everyone will have the same mindset as you. When aggression or a lack of self control are present, some situations can turn ugly quick. I don’t like to stereotype, because I’ve done my fair share of things and people can be rehabbed, but I would like to caution you about dealing with aggressive people. Even if they can charm the pants off of you or even open up doors (professionally, physically etc), they may not always have your best interest at heart.

People aren’t always who they make themselves out to be. Some people wear masks very well. You have to remember to look out for you. It’s a cold world out there.

Hope this helps someone!

CH