Guns, gains, glory: Life as a soldier and how enlisting has improved me as a person

Every male in my country has to go through 2 years of National Service (NS) after his tertiary education. There are many vocations people can be posted to to serve the country: firefighters, policemen or as Army, Air Force, or Navy servicemen. Most of us get posted into the army, and I was one of them. Before I delve into how enlisting has changed me as a person, I will give a summary of my NS timeline. Everyone who is posted into the Singapore Armed Forces (which includes the army, Navy and Airforce) will go through 2 months of Basic Military Training (BMT). It is here that regimentation and soldier fundamentals are introduced to the new recruits. It was tough for me (as for many others) as it was the phase where us ex-civilians struggle to get used to the vastly different (regimental) way of life. After BMT, recruits who display leadership potential would be chosen to enter into command school. This could either be Officer Cadet School (top 10%) or Specialist Cadet School (next 20%). I was posted into Specialist Cadet School (SCS), where we would undergo another 2 months of basic training as an infantry section commander, and in the subsequent 4 months specialise into more specific vocations. After these 6 months, specialist cadets would pass out as full-fledged sergeants. Following the 2 months of foundation training in SCS, I was posted into Combat Intelligence School (CIS), where I went through the Reconnaissance Commander Course (RCC) to become a reconnaissance team commander. RCC is a course known for its tough regimentation and discipline. On the practical side, cadets are drilled to develop superior combat fitness and navigation skills. This is because as self-sustaining on-the-ground intelligence assets, scouts are expected to carry heavier loads and walk further distances to gather information during times of war. There was a high key in each week of the course, with each week’s high key getting tougher. The course ended with a 4 day Mission and 16 hours of prisoner of war (POW) torture training. This 8 week course is one of the toughest courses one can go through as a servicemen, and is also the highlight of my NS life, where I learnt the most about myself (and so much of this piece will centre around this course). After those 8 months as a trainee (2 months as a recruit and 6 as a cadet), I was posted to an active battalion for the rest of my time in the army. With all honesty, nothing I write will be able to do justice to the experiences gained, but hopefully, this intro has provided some insight into the life of a solider in a nation where National service is compulsory. With that, moving on to how enlisting has changed me as a person…

Prior to enlistment and even now, I am a person who enjoys routine and resists changes as much as possible (enjoy being able to control things in my life – my time, the way I do things). The army is a place where changes are non-stop, because essentially in a country with compulsory National Service, an enlistee has to learn to be a soldier within the short span of 2 years. Most of the time, that involves being shipped around from place to place, to different courses to learn different skill sets and aspects of being a soldier. For most (myself included), the biggest change occurred during my BMT. The transition from being a civilian to a military personnel was abrupt. Regimentation replaced my freedom to choose what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. Every little thing was controlled and much emphasis was placed on meeting timings. It was all about timings. Timings for trainings, meals, roll calls and parades had to be met right to the second, or the whole company would suffer the consequences as a whole. That in itself was a change that I struggled to adapt to as well. Being punished for the mistakes of others was new to me. What I as a civilian was familiar with was being faulted for my own mistakes, and any efforts that I took to help others avoid the consequences of their mistakes would have simply been out of my own good will. I quickly made sense of that, though. After all, a small individual mistake on the battlefield could very well cause the death of many other comrades elsewhere. Helping one another out was a theme that was constantly drilled into us as soldiers. Military life in general was fast paced, and the changes never stopped as I entered into SCS and subsequently CIS. By the end of my 8 months as a trainee, I had undergone so many different changes that ironically, change had become the norm to me. Any form of regimentation definitely remains a chore to me, and I still look forward to being a civilian again in another 6 months. However, I can confidently say that the past year and a half has helped me grow as a person in the sense that I deal with change better.

Besides dealing with changes better, I have also discovered myself as a leader. Prior to enlistment, being someone with a more reserved personality, I’ve always viewed myself as a leader who didn’t inspire using speech. Rather, I would prefer to set an example for my followers, quietly going through trials and trainings with them, hoping to inspire them through actions instead. Although much of this has not changed, being a military commander has given me the opportunity to develop the part of my leadership that I don’t use often – speech. More specifically, it was my experience in my time in CIS when I was a RCC trainee. The experience occurred during the 6th week, where we had a 4 day exercise that involved movement and firefight drills with a short mission. It was during that week that I was chosen to hold the appointment of Platoon Sergeant for the mission. At the end of the mission, everyone had been excited about returning to camp, until it was announced that we were to do a casualty evacuation run back to camp. What was left unsaid was that this run could extend for as long as the instructors wanted. The stretcher was loaded with filled jerry cans and the platoon was supposed to rotate the carrying of the stretcher while running. This was on top of our own 30kg loads. The heat was insane (35 degrees Celsius) and the instructors were hell bent on making me break under the stress. Insults were constantly hurled and pressure constantly heaped on me to get the platoon to perform. I had to constantly shout at the platoon to motivate them. It helped, but the human body could only take so much. After running for about 3 kilometres with full combat load and stretcher, 3 of my platoon mates collapsed from heat exhaustion, and a safety halt was called. It was a rush thereafter to get the 3 casualties to the medical centre, and subsequently, the exercise was cut. After everyone had left the scene, I finally had a chance to let loose all the tension, and I broke down and cried. Needless to say, all the pressure had been heaped on me to assess how I would do under stressful situations, and that night, the instructors even affirmed my ability to handle the situation well. What I took away from this experience was not just the painfully unforgettable memories, but also the realisation that under enough stress, I could perform. It wasn’t that I couldn’t use speech to lead and motivate (as I had initially thought). With the right amount of “coaxing”, I discovered that I had it in me, and now that I know that, it is up to me to develop and use this skill to better lead in the future. Doubtless I still prefer to lead by example, but the ability to both motivate by speech as well as lead by example has definitely improved me as a leader.

Besides the lessons I have learnt in my time as a trainee, I have also gained much from being a sergeant in an active battalion. Being a sergeant involves having men under my charge, and having men under my charge means that I also have a bigger responsibility to take care of them. In times of war, it is I who will lead my team into dangerous areas, and I who will make decisions that may cost or save their lives. This leadership on the battlefield starts from leadership on an everyday basis. Being able to gain my men’s respect and have them follow my commands starts by being able to motivate them and train them well in peacetime. However, this is not as simple or easy as it normally would be. Singaporean servicemen are made up of mostly people who are “whiling their time away” in NS, meaning that they will not be a soldier after the 2 years of service, and their military life has no bearing on their civilian life afterward. This also means that most troopers are unmotivated and have no incentive to put in effort. The country’s security is sometimes taken for granted by soldiers themselves, and as a result for many even that is not good enough an incentive to train hard. It is therefore the job of the commanders to motivate the troopers. Many of the commanders’ privileges hinge on the performance of the company during evaluations and trainings, and so, if commanders are able to inspire the troopers to “work for them”, he would have had succeeded in gaining their respect. In my experience, military leaders who have a regimental style of leadership do well in the army because they are able to get things done. The really good ones even end up earning the troopers’ respect as leaders who are both tough and competent. However, as mentioned before, that is not how I prefer to lead. Even now as I deal with my own troopers, I try to establish a friendly relationship with them based on mutual trust. I have to trust them to not take advantage of my leniency, and they have to trust that I have a reason for the instructions I give them. It can be difficult when rogue troopers decide that they want to test the system and take advantage of me, but I feel that this has overall been quite a fulfilling experience. I’ve met people from many different walks of life, and have had experiences where my troopers show their respect and trust in me. As a commander who is also a “temporary soldier” just like them, I too suffer from extended periods of lack of motivation and “what am I doing wasting away my life” moments. Those experiences with my men make things more fulfilling and bearable, even if they are not frequent. In a sense, my troopers are my motivation to keep going amidst all the negativity in the army.

To conclude, I cannot stress enough that nothing I say will be able to do justice to the experiences. To me, there are still many inefficiencies and too much negativity in the army’s environment, but trying to make these compulsory 2 years of service fulfilling has definitely been worthwhile. I’ve said much about how this entire army experience has improved me as a person, but personal reasons have made me a strong believer in giving my best in everything that I do, as much as possible. I cannot hold everyone to this belief, but ultimately, I hope that at the end of this journey, I will be able to confidently say that I’ve helped someone to achieve his own fulfilling experience through my leadership or otherwise.