How does an Indian woman’s life change post marriage

The prescription of marriage is more stringent for women. Women must get married. “Doosre ki amanat hai” (She is another person’s property). “Jawan ladki ghar nahin baitha sakte hain” (cannot keep a young unmarried girl at home). After marriage, her husband’s home is her home. She should visit her natal home only as a guest, she should never return to her parents’ home. Parents cough out their life savings too/take loans/dispose-off their property and arrange for substantial dowry to marry their daughters.

In India, marriage and family dominate the life of women. The primary duty of the woman is to be subservient/loyal to the husband/his relatives and her children. After marriage, husband and relatives control all outside relationships. There are festivals/rituals such as “teej” and “karva chaut” in which the woman worships her husband as her God/Lord (“Patiparmeshwar”) and prays for his long life. The primary roles for the women are still “marriage” and “motherhood.” Marriage confers a positive status to the woman which is greatly enhanced by motherhood. No wonder non-solemnization of marriage of young daughters, separation or divorce is very stressful not only for the woman, but for the entire family. Marriage brings security and dignity to Indian women. Unmarried status in India is stigma especially for females.

What does a typical marriage in an Indian society expect of the woman:

• As soon as the wedding is fixed, the woman is expected to call her in-laws regularly and gel in with them.
• The day of the wedding, during the Vidaai ceremony, the woman’s parents give up all claims on their daughter. She is told that from that point on the in-laws are her parents and their home is her home too.
• She is supposed to immediately address her in-laws as mom-dad.
• A few days/weeks in the new family, she is now supposed to be the default homemaker and caretaker. Doesn’t matter if she has a job, she is to take care of cooking duties or lend a hand to mom-in-law before/after office, take care of all cleaning duties, grocery shopping and also handle the househelp (if any).
• In most cases, she is to give up almost all responsibilities towards her parents, even if they were dependent on her before her marriage.
• Most times, she also has to give up wearing jeans or western dresses, because married women only wear Salwaar Kameezes or Sarees.
• There are no weekends for a married woman. She still has to get up early and do the chores, doesn’t matter if she worked 60 hours during the week and just wants to sleep in for 1 day.

And the husband; he can continue living his old life.