How I Know that I am Unprepared for the End of the World

All the pumps at the gas station were out of service. All I could think for the half mile drive to the next gas station: What if they’re out of service too? In fact, what if they’re all out of service? What if there is no more gasoline to get anywhere in America, and I was stupid enough to let it get below a quarter tank? I am doomed now. There is no where left to get fuel, and I let my tank get empty. What a fool! Sure, I have the outfit, but I am clearly not prepared to enter into a Mad Max style situation. I’ll be lost on the side of the road, watching all the more prepared motorists chase each other around. And you know what will happen: The fuel disappears first, and immediately after that all the water runs out, and then we’re all forced to eat lizards. And I am not prepared to eat lizards! Never mind that this area is prevalent with deer and pronghorns, to say nothing of the cattle ranches. Forget about that! As soon as I’m out of fuel — in about fifteen more miles, but probably less — then I’ll be forced to subsist entirely on lizards and sweat. And that’s only if I survive the initial skirmishes where all the people with fuel chase me down, never mind that I have no fuel so I’m far from a valuable target for them. I’ve got the wardrobe for it, sure. I could dress right for a post apocalyptic type situation any day between new moons. But my resupplying instincts are clearly sub-standard.

I simply cannot survive in this post-apocalyptic situation that I’ve entered. Say goodbye now. The desert is closing in. The lizards are looking gamey but appealing.

Then I get to the next gas station.

The gas pumps there are fine. I refuel.

Although, thinking on it now, I shall be modifying my refueling habits from now on. Because, frankly, never want to risk running on fumes on a day when deliveries are late or a technical issue keeps you from restocking for longer than plan. Push past safe limits only warily.

The moral of this story is:

Every day, before breakfast if possible, ave an over-exaggerated and unrealistic crisis. It’ll keep you on your toes.