How I Nailed My First Corporate Job Interview

During the job interview I went on for my first corporate job, the interviewer stared at the spot on my neck, where my necklace charm lay — a gold cross — the entire time. This was the spot that his eyes stayed the entire time. It was a safe place to easily look up to my eyes if I asked him to clarify details of the job description. A safer place to be able to look down at the start of my cleavage when I was carried away in the story about where I see myself in 10 years. In the interview, I did most of the talking and literally could have said anything in that hour I spent with this gentleman in the conference room of a dark accounting office. I talked about how I need to listen to music at all times because it sets the rhythm to my day. I asked silly questions, just to see if he was actually listening.

“Would it be okay if I brought in a boom box and turned it down really low?” 
“I drink a lot of coffee, how many breaks are allowed in day?” 
“If I skipped breaks, can I get up and walk around as long as I’m earshot of your office?”

Yes was the answer to all the questions I asked.

In reviewing my resume, he brought up my typing score and congratulated me on it being high than normal (45–50 wpm.) Things like this were important in those days because of the volume of dictation and letter writing. He congratulated me on being so young and having such an extensive resume (I’d been working since I was 16 years old.) He said that my voice was pleasant on the phone when he set up the interview. “The phone rings constantly.” Finally, “You dress appropriately for the office.”

What that really means, is that I am wearing the right thing to give the boss just that little bit to look at.

Let me break down what this means piece by piece:

1. A button-up blouse made of silk or cotton — unbuttoned down to the 3 button, right at the start of your cleavage.
2. A bra that push the girls together JUST enough, but not too much.
3. For those with little girls, a lace camisole.
4. A skirt, 3 fingers above the knee to knee-length, with a 2 -3 inch slit up the back making it easier to bend down, ladylike, and grab the pencil you dropped, or put away the files in the bottom row of the cabinet.
5. Sheer Nylons when wearing a skirt — the sheer that has a sheen is best. They make your legs look shiny and sunkissed.
6. Black trousers — they should fit snug around your bottom. Pin stripped trousers for extra attention.
7. High Heels or Pumps — the more height the better to give the rest of your leg a shapely silhouette, and to show off the naked top of your foot. Maybe even the little bit of ankle, when wearing trousers, when you cross your legs.
8. A touch of perfume on your wrists so they can smell you when you shake hands. A splash in your hair so they can smell you when you turn to leave.
9. Mascara — make sure those peepers are at attention and they’ll never know what you‘re really thinking.
10. Lipstick — I’m fond a deep classic red so they listen to every word you say.
11. Hair down is always best. Shake your head back and forth maybe 4–5 times an hour, if it’s long, to get it off your shoulders. If it’s short, pull it back from your face with a headband, let some of those baby hairs fall on your forhead.

I got the job that day without a second interview. My yearly salary, a little lower than my asking, was higher than I ever earned in my life. I was 22 years old. No college education. Just exceptional work ethic, the ability to learn, a strong reference from a job I was at for 3 months, and a damn good typing score and the know how to dress appropriately for the office.