How to Resolve the Post-Holiday Spiritual Crisis with Taoism

The holidays, for many of us, are times of elation. Surrounded by friends and family, we are reminded of our life’s many blessings, and we feel a warm glow of acceptance emanating from our past.

But inevitably, the holidays end, and we return to our “normal” life, dismayed to see another Thanksgiving pass away, another milestone recede. This feeling of crashing disappointment may be called a “spiritual crisis,” because our despair goes beyond sadness to meaninglessness. A spiritual crisis occurs when we feel that something is deeply wrong, but we don’t know what it is. A shadow hangs over us as we struggle to regain a sense of purpose, or alternatively to suppress and ignore this powerful existential emergency.

What should we do when we feel trapped in a spiritual crisis? A spiritual crisis requires a spiritual answer, and Taoism can help, if we correctly understand what ‘the Tao’ means. In this article, I will argue that a spiritual crisis arises from the belief that we must behave a certain way to be acceptable to ourselves. But Taoism, expressed in the Tao Te Ching, does not require you to do anything to get into accord with the way things should be. Our activity is already accepted; we do not have to do anything extra to be included.

In other words, the Tao is not something to get into accord with, but something which encompasses and supports all (and every) activity. Understanding the Tao is itself a radical kind of acceptance, which will relieve us from our spiritual crises. In the final part of this article, we will briefly address our ethical attitude, because the understanding of the Tao is encouraged by a position of compassion toward ourselves and others.

Anatomy of a Spiritual Crisis

The spiritual crisis is a state of deep loneliness. We desire to reconnect, to be pulled back into the comforting world of our family once again, like an infant who has just emerged from the womb. Spiritual entertainer Alan Watts would often quote poet A. E. Housman to describe this divided state: “I, a stranger and afraid / In a world I never made.”

We feel separate from everything, faced with the insurmountable task of bridging the infinite gap between ourselves and the world. We want, in other words, to get in touch with the Tao. “Tao” roughly means “way,” “path,” or “route.” We imagine it to be the solution to all our problems: if we could only relax and go with the flow, we would be able to fully live in the moment. The Tao symbolizes that state of effortless harmony, in which we take the good with the bad, roll with the punches, and persevere through all hardships. When we find the Tao, we imagine, life will cease to be an ordeal, a problem to be solved.

Some of us try for many years to find this vision of the Tao. We seek to dissolve our personalities, or to achieve a monetary or social status that alleviates all suffering. But the spiritual crises continue to lurk in the background, showing up long after we thought that we had finally found the Tao once and for all. Finally, we turn around to question our method: perhaps we misunderstood the Tao in the first place, and set out in search of something which does not exist.

The Tao Te Ching

In Brian Browne Walker’s 2011 translation of the Tao Te Ching (attributed to Laozi, approx. 4th century BC), a different version of the Tao is described — one which cannot be “found” at all:

Tao is beyond words and beyond understanding. 
Words may be used to speak of it, but they cannot contain it.

Not only is this Tao beyond description, but it is even beyond understanding or imagining. It defies all categorization.

“Therefore,” Laozi continues, “to see beyond all boundaries to the subtle heart of things, dispense with names, with concepts, with expectations and ambitions and differences.” In other words, following the Tao does not depend upon acting a certain way. It is rather a matter of understanding that the Tao encompasses everything, including ourselves. A change in perspective is required instead of a change in behavior.

[Tao] is the unlimited father and mother of all limited things.

When we drop all concepts, we see through the misapprehension that we need to get anything from life in order to feel complete. In other words, we are relieved from the idea that we are incomplete as we are, in the current moment. Thus, the Tao is not something we need to try to find, because it is already here. Searching for the Tao is as pointless as looking for oneself. To say this in a more positive way: we are already in accordance with the Tao, as it is the secret source of everything. All our actions, thoughts, dreams, and all objects we encounter, are inseparable from this timeless source. We can never disobey the Tao, for it is our very essence.

The apparent separation we feel is revealed to be a false one. When we think we have departed from the Tao, we imagine we must strive to correct the flow of nature. But with the correct understanding of Tao, this striving evaporates because we see there is no place we need to go. As we contemplate this idea, we may feel the relief from spiritual crisis, which Laozi describes as “subtle wonder within mysterious darkness.” Our sense that something is wrong dissolves as we see that nothing can ever go wrong in an existential sense, because everything arises from the same wondrous source, in each moment.

Order Arises of Itself

We feel some trepidation in expressing this idea plainly, however, because some may be tempted to use Taoist philosophy to validate unethical behavior. We are afraid, in other words, that Taoism may devolve into nihilism, which is the belief that nothing has intrinsic value or meaning. Theoretically, this is a real danger. But in practice, we will find, according to Laozi, just the opposite: when all limitations are dropped and the Tao is understood, ethical behavior arises naturally within us.

Do by not-doing. 
Act with non-action. 
Allow order to arise of itself.

When we are no longer burdened by separation, we are motivated by our deep connection to those around us. Of course, we will benefit from acting this way long before we understand anything about Taoism. The Golden Rule (treat others as you wish to be treated) is a spiritual guide, paving the way for great insights.

I give thanks to you, dear reader, and wish you a wonderful holiday season.