“I figure it out as I go”
Can I actually say that without feeling guilty, without having someone silently judge me and think it’s reckless?
They say it’s because they really care about me and they just want me to be “happy” or “stable”. I appreciate that. Thanks for looking out for me. But, please understand that things that worked in the past can’t always be applied to me or everything we have today. It’s irrelevant now.
Also, understand that I’m not always going to listen to you. It’s not because I don’t like your advice or I do it just to spite you.
I do it because I want to see if my method works. If there are more ways than one.
Come on, you say that like you don’t know me. It’s that same stubbornness that brought me to the highest peaks of my life. Perhaps there was a smarter way to get there, without the suffering and grazed knees. But that’s like saying the pain was unnecessary which I think is untrue. It’s all part of the DNA of Life.
So, don’t say “Wait until you’re 30” when I say I don’t want to have kids. I really don’t. I am not going to be lonely when I get old. The world is full of funny people. I’m bound to have one as a neighbour.
Don’t say “I hope you find someone and be happy” when I’m doing alright being on my own. It’s nice to share parts of my life with an SO, but I love being able to do things or not do anything at all on my own.
They may not make sense to you. But they make perfectly good sense to me. That’s all you need to know.
Let me slowly unlock experiences according to my rhythm.
Encourage me to keep going when you sense excitement in my voice and see flashes of the universe in my eyes.
Ask me for stories and I’ll be happy to share them with you over beers. Or tea, whatever floats your boat. I’m not going to promise that they’ll make sense, though.