(How to Deal with Judgement???)
The idea that we humans are good-natured, politically correct, nonjudgmental beings is pure fantasy. We are, at the very least, judgmental.
- Lyle Lovett
I want to share a rather painful but also somewhat funny story.
While I was pregnant with my first child, I had put on a LOT of weight.
Anyway… a week after I delivered my baby boy, someone decided it was appropriate to comment about how much weight I had put on.
The words of that person, if I remember correctly were, “ OMG! Look at you. You’ve blown up like a BALLOON!!!”
What a beautiful thing to say to an emotionally vulnerable new mom!!!… Right???
Obviously, it made me feel terrible and shocked about how insensitive some people can be!!
Later on, with regular exercise and healthy diet, I successfully shed those extra kilos within a year! I was very proud of my achievement.I felt great.
But the story doesn’t end here. The real twist is yet to come.
When I lost all that baby weight, the SAME person said to me, that I looked weak and anemic and I advised me that I must take care of myself.
At that point, I didn’t feel bad… Somehow I found it extremely funny.
We have to accept it.
And when I say people, that includes me too.
I am no saint.
I try my best not to be judgmental but yes, I have passed my own share of judgments.
Yes, I do believe that we have absolutely no right what so ever to judge anyone’s life because first of all it’s none of our business and secondly passing judgment on someone’s life is a total waste of our own precious time.
We must try to empathize with the other person, try to understand their perspective, try our best to be as accepting as possible.
But still… at some point, we all have judged someone.
When we can’t relate or connect with someone’s actions, choices, situation, circumstances or life…. We Judge.
But the thing is … It shouldn’t matter.
Those who judge don’t know our story our perspective.
And most of the time they don’t even NEED to know. We don’t have to explain ourselves to anyone.
Every time after being judged by others if we keep on changing our decisions, doubting ourselves, questioning our worth, doubting our relationships, explaining our choices, feeling bad about ourselves, then trust me… our life will be miserable.
We must remember …Whatever we do…. It’s our prerogative.
So next time if anyone passes a baseless verdict on our life, our choices, our weight, our number of kids, our being married or separated or single, the way we parent our kids, the job we do or don’t do, the kind of clothes we wear….. whatever it is… Let’s just smile and say
I object allowing your judgment about my life alter the way I look at it.
I object to punish myself based on your groundless and shallow verdict.
You can waste your time judging me but I OBJECT to waste my precious time thinking about your judgment.
It’s my life and I am the best judge of it…
So judge all you want…But still.I OBJECT..”