I see a LOT of self help articles on here. A ton.

“Ten things to make you feel better right now!”

“Twenty fail safe Ways to make you experience joy in your life!”

On and on. Blah. Blah. Blah.

So I am not wealthy, by any means. We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck. We struggle. I have debt. Our apartment is really small and kind of a piece of shit. My kids share their rooms. I clean my house. I would go homeless if one of my kids had to have a major operation or someone got cancer. All my money goes to buy organic food.

You know the typical “American Dream” nowadays.

I’ve been poor. Like dirt fucking poor. Like don’t have enough money for tampons poor. I’ve lived in ghettos. Most of my life was poor with the exception of my childhood and the minority of my adult life… when I say poor I mean $50 rich.

When I had $50 I was rich, poor.

So I see all these people who are really quite privileged on Medium. Who have lives, where they own a house , a few cars, they travel, they can afford their lives. They can buy what they want. What’s really interesting is that they all seem to be searching for some “key” to happiness, love or even productivity.. They appear to be mystified on how to live on the inside. Or enjoy what they have.

I am not unhappy. I’m not stressed out. I am at peace a lot. I think part of that is because I’ve lived under such duress , and such insane situations that what I do have now is amazing to me.

Sure I have a brain that is used to hell, so it can go and visit real quick , without my permission… my mind can be like a dangerous neighborhood at night. Somewhere you don’t walk alone. But that’s nothing compared to where I used to be.

I think the reason why I am relatively happy and complete with what I have is because of what I’ve lived through.

What I learned was how to live through shit. How to stay sane through the most hysterical chaos you could imagine. How to bite down wicked hard when it hurts. Labor breaths. I know how to live with and through pain. Im an expert.

Part of that is due to my personality and my mind. Some people wouldn’t have done that. Some people would have done the other things we can do.

But me…

I like the least amount of stress at all times. I am a personality type Z.

But last week I realized that all these self help shit lists on here … they all are for naught. There is one answer to all our problems. At least for me there is.

My best friend , one of them that I am so close to I consider her my sister. Her daughter is my daughter. She is my blood and my bone.

Anyways, she is still in the shit I used to live in. Ive spent a fair amount of our relationship with her in that shit. She lives in the worst neighborhood in the city she lives in. Where people are afraid to go. Where I used to live.

Anyways. So last week I’m talking to her , she lives in her one bedroom apartment and her daughter has the bedroom and she sleeps on the couch. ( that’s pretty typical where I come from) and she tells me she has $1.50. To her name. For the rest of the month.

So many of us take so much of our lives for granted. We have thousands in the bank account, we have steady jobs, we have cars and family that doesn’t hate us. We have dads to call when we need some extra cash. We have food in the kitchen. We have Internet and tv. We have more than one bra. And none of them have wires that poke us and make us bleed.

Here is the answer people to the key to happiness; The secret. The one that no one told you about.

Help someone.

Pick someone. Anyone.

Maybe you have a family member that struggling. Maybe you know a woman , a single mom, a single dad, maybe you know a homeless guy you walk by every night, on your way home.

Maybe you know a family where dad drinks the money away.

Maybe a woman who lost her car.

Shit. Anyone really.

Maybe you’re the boss and you have an employee who is struggling and he does a really good job and has kids and he can’t make ends meet.

Who knows.

Pick someone. Pick anyone.

Share. Share some of what you have.

Wire them $100. Buy them a car. Pay the down payment on a new apartment. Give them a raise. Buy them food. Buy someone some nice face cream. Buy a $25 gift certificate at Target every time you go and give it to a random person. Or someone you know who needs it.

It really doesn’t matter what you do, just use your heart and put some effort into it. Think about whatever that person would really love to have . Sometimes you can ask them, or maybe they asked you and you already said no. Do that. Say yes.

That’s what I did. I wired my sister some cash.

Thank you. You changed my month.

I just found a super cute bra at Ross for $5

I’m buying me and Vi stuff to make cupcakes tonight

You changed my life thank you so so much

I wouldn’t have been able to feed my kid

I don’t know what I would have done without your help

Those are some of the things she told me.

I’m not bragging. I’m telling you that it was better than the speed balls I used to shoot in my arm. Better than Prozac. Better than Christmas.

I was filled with the best feeling ever. I loved myself. I did something worthy. Something wonderful. I changed someones life for the better. I made a positive energy wave. I brought someone out of the darkness.

I changed someone’s life. And it was nothing . It took me five minutes.

Do you know that there are people in America ( it’s mostly America) that scoff at that and think IM the fool ?? That I’m the sucker? That people like her deserve to suffer because they did it to themselves .

They don’t work hard enough. They made poor choices. They are bad with money. They’re lazy. They will just waste money. They wanted to party instead of go to school.

And the people that think that way don’t share.

I already pay taxes. That’s how I help. I employ people. I support the economy.

You know what? That’s why you’re not alive on the inside too. That’s why you don’t know what it is to be in love. To be at the mercy of another human being and be exploding like a fire cracker inside. That’s why you don’t know what true joy is. Thats why you’re a miserable human being and no one really likes you. Thats why if you lost all your money, or got in a car accident and lost your looks, or lost your feet, No one would be in your life anymore.

That’s why you’re alone. Even around people. That’s why you wonder if this is it . If this is all life is. That is why you have to constantly search for answers and things to do and say to yourself to make you feel happy. That’s why you read those articles with a desperate eye and do everything it says and everything still feels empty.

We need to learn how to share. We need to learn how to give to others.

You know it doesn’t even have to be things or money. Call your Mom. Go eat dinner with your Grandmother before she dies. Go visit your neighbors. Stop and listen to people. Help someone move. Send a card or flowers. Help clean their house before the party. Do the dishes at your friends house. Take out the trash.

Share you. Share them.

We need each other .

Not just to check our reflections in each other’s eyes, or to stroke our egos, not just to suck each other’s dicks , not just to feed us the constant demand of attention we need to feel satiated.

So many people … all they do is check to make sure everyone’s costume is on right.

We need each other in real time. We need the truth. We need to be loved even when we fuck up. We need help. We need a hand up. We need fucking help. We need a break.

We need a burrito. Sometimes it’s that fucking simple man.

We just need a god damned burrito.

Buy them one. Do it.

I promise .

It will work better than all the self help advice you’ve ever gotten.