A few years back, I made the decision to stay in my current city. My mother chose to move back to care for other family members then it turned into a full out deceitful situation. To be honest my relationship with my mother is deteriorated. She and I have not seen eye to eye about a lot of subjects, and as the parent to my thirty years felt I should just do as she says. This has also been filled with a lot of negative talk and another person placing a price on my value.
I know you’re thinking “what do you mean by ‘another person placing a price on my value?” The answer is, my mother hasn’t had to deal with a lot of situations that I have and after being blindsided by a few of her actions, doesn’t care. I’ve worked hard to be the person I am and when I relocated I did so with the thought of a fresh start. A fresh start that was ultimately brought to a stand still when I was forced to take on roles.
Throughout everything I’ve worked multiple jobs, gained money, loss money and still no appreciation or resolve. It all started off wrong when she blindsided me and bought a new home in a scenario that was supposed to be temporary then removed all types of stuff from the premises. I can’t even explain the feelings and thoughts that I’ve endured during this time along with the strain on other relationships who have been involved. My life has been completely unstable.
This is the point where I resolved that I wasn’t going to move back to my home state. At least, I wasn’t moving back because someone else was making me. It didn’t make matters better either. I would give her the money to fulfill the bills and she still wouldn’t be satisfied. She ultimately wanted to sell her home for the money and so she could move on with her life (which is another story).
I was in complete disbelief. Throughout it all, it’s made it hard to maintain relationships and those who I’d try to explain scenarios to — it just made me look crazy. Yes, it is her home but she isn’t the one maintaining everything.
Then, there are the scum bags who like to prey on your weaknesses. I don’t even know where to begin in this area. They are the people who pretend to help you and in return exploit your need for help and manipulate situations for their own gain. I read a quote on social media that went something like “Be with the one who wants to be with you” and at this point in my life, I don’t agree.
Now, please don’t take this as bashing my mother but with everything that has been done to me, I don’t think you can quite call her my mother anymore. Somewhere along the lines the relationship went from mother — daughter to mother — subordinate. We went from supporter to “you’re a leech/burden” and that’s when the tables completely turned.
There isn’t enough therapy or retail therapy to fix this situation. While searching for a role to fit my background, I’m being forced to make ends meet and re-enter a life of struggle because of someone I trusted. Anyone who knows me, knows that I go hard for myself. If I’m going for broke, I’m going for broke for myself.
Let’s not even talk about starting new relationships because if you’re not careful you’ll run into someone else who is looking for help out of their own situation. Been there, done that. I’ve spent a portion of my adult life breaking free from this mode of living (as expressed in my other writings).
So, no I don’t support the mentality “Be with the one who wants to be with you.” When you’re the most vulnerable is when you have to be careful of who and what you allow in your life. The one who wants you could be the one waiting to push you off a cliff (literally and physically) or holding a dagger behind their back. It’s also a poverty mentality and quite honestly, if you’re going to settle for anything or anyone, settle for you.
*Please note, this article may be found on other sites and is meant for inspirational purposes only.