IT WAS AN INSIDE JOB…
… So I had to stop looking outside of myself for my “happiness!”
And maybe you could too? 🤷🏽♂️…I mean, money, relationships, cars, houses, a promotion, a burger, a fuck, a line, a beer, a party, a pill or anything else that we think we need to make us happy, maybe fun, but for sure are superficial and temporary solutions.
Trust me I know because I looked for, and found ALL of the above in quite excessive amounts…and? Well, nothing! There was always someone with more money, a better car, a bigger house, a fitter girl, and the rest, until one day I found, (by luck or maybe divine intervention) that comparing myself or my life, rather, to others’ was a waste of time…
A quick change of subject-
What’s weird is that I genuinely had and still have no idea what this post is actually going to be about, and after last weeks one getting a bit a good feedback, the pressure was on. I’ve been thinking about topics all week and none felt right, the ideas felt forced. So I’m literally just typing the first thing that comes into my head, so bare with me, I’m new to this shit. I know I’ve got a lot of words up there so I guess a lack of content won't be the issue… I just really want to express my thoughts in a way that makes sense and you enjoy reading. Know what I mean? I’m gonna call this my ‘organic flow’… or is that too cheesy?
Back to it -
So anyway, I realised I was wasting my time. I lost my wants, needs and ambitions, I lost them for a while, but now they’re back and stronger than ever. They just have a different driving force behind them…
I now have a new relationship with my reasons for wanting the material things I have, and the ones I plan to own. For example, a sense of self-achievement from being born into nothing. With the odds looking like I wasn’t even going to get out of the estate/the hood. Being able to give my daughter a life that means she doesn’t have to witness some of the things I did growing up. Being able to help others, both friends and strangers because I can, because I’ve found my balance, my buoyancy… meaning that however shit life gets, or however amazing it gets, I think there’s an art to keeping centered by considering these two super important things 1. Perspective and 2. Gratitude. I feel that nailing these practices would keep most of us pretty grounded.
Don’t get me wrong, I have faaaar from nailed this shit but my awareness of them has and still is, definitely serving me well.
I guess what I’m getting at is why do we have the ambitions we have? Want the things we want? Are they really for us, or for others? Is the ego leading the race, putting us into unnecessary competition? If so, then that’s a race that has been lost from the start.
I think I’m gonna leave it there. Short and sweet.
I’ve just had a quick read back and I think its ok. To be fair, considering I’m writing about myself and my thoughts, it should be near impossible to mess up. I said from the beginning that if I’m going to do this, I’m doing it properly. Full honesty, my thoughts, my fears, my struggles. Otherwise, what’s the point.
Chat soon x
Also, it would be wicked for people to comment below, about anything you want… within reason.
