Leaving, To Serve My Writing

When I made the decision to leave I felt desperate I was only concerned with my self preservation and I fiercely desired to share my writing with the world. Feeling desperate changes you it makes you selfish to the extreme and the only way to dissipate the intensity is to either drink alcohol like it is water or write until you run out of ink and paper. I had to leave for a multitude of reasons and all of them were going to damage a multitude of people. Although my children are wonderful adults with their own lives we have become great friends, even though I had been a hotel maid for almost two decades the last property I worked at was the worst and I had no sympathy empathy or regret about quitting and regarding my house I simply no longer cared because it had become a Black Hole and something of a money pit so I threw one more month of full upkeep into the Abyss. The person who was going to be damaged the most by my leaving was perhaps the most unaware by choice because he did not believe we could not be fixed, the house could not be fixed and the job market could not be fixed. Leaving Las Vegas changed my life and at the age of Fifty I was now in Texas in a new time zone literally and figuratively in the one year there I had reaquainted myself with breathing, my faith and my writing. My whole life my writing has been very important to me and I have managed to guard it zealously through many trials and tribulations it is a gift from God that I must share with this world, I have always known this but have not always accepted this certainty all my life and I have had quite a life. Incredible intelligence as a child a harrowing adolescence and dangerous teenage years with the emergence into heartbreaking adulthood through young motherhood and marriage leading into an affair that lead to divorce which brought me into a second marriage that ended with scorched earth. Then I was surrounded by green submerged in faith and blossoming as a writer, to walk by faith was new for me but to sit quietly in trust was kind of familiar and to stand tall in hope I was right at home I learned that to let go of people places and things that not only no longer serve you but quite frankly cause you great harm is in fact doing yourself a great service. We are all called upon to serve others which in turn actually serves God we are all given the gifts we need to nourish and heal the body of humanity using the main ingredients of Faith Hope and Love for the ultimate glory of God.