Now that we’re in each others’ lives
This is sort of a part two of my first story ‘Where Have You Been All My Life?’ I left you off with our first date. It’s been a long time since that and a lot has happened. I didn’t mention that the day we went to Ojalá he asked me if I had a place to stay during the holidays (since I am a foreigner I didn’t have anyone to be with) and he offered me to stay at his parents’ place so I wouldn’t be alone. I know, real charmer.
We became very close after that day, and he even asked me to go see him to his workplace during his lunch breaks everyday. I felt that need that I told you about having depth in my life fulfilled. I was extremely nervous to spend the holidays with him because I thought it could go two ways: either we ended up loving each other (as a couple), or we ended up hating each other (as in annoyed by one another).
Things were going great between us, and when I got to his place his parents ADORED me. They asked me to never leave and even told me they felt as if I was one of their own kids. I met his sister, who became one of my best friends, and his father frequently told me that he hadn’t seen him as happy as he seemed with me for a long time. So, that’s when one of my hypothesis started being challenged.
When we were together, he touched my legs, held my hand, asked me to cuddle with him, kissed me all over my face, put his finger on my lips, and I thought —very logically, to my belief— that we would soon kiss, as in a romantically involved way. I feel the need to overstate this things because for me, he was sending clear signals. However, his hand on my thighs when we made a road trip, his way of looking for my hand to hold under the table when we played monopoly, the long evenings spent cuddling on the couch and the countless times he asked me for innocent kisses on the cheek, meant ‘friends’ for him.
To this day, a week before spring break, I CANNOT get my mind around what happened during Christmas… It’s just something I will never understand.
So, my first hypothesis was proved totally wrong when he said he didn’t mean to confuse our friendship with something else. Consequently, we stopped all forms of communication for weeks because it was awkward. Everything changed. I even cried because I thought this person that had deeply impacted me was far gone out of my life for good. My mind ended up being a mess, because he thought I was the one sending him signals, and of course I was! But only because he started being so touchy with me.
Am I crazy? I am sure as heck I didn’t imagine everything we did on winter break. So, unfortunately, I felt (and still feel sometimes) as if my second hypothesis was successfully proved. Bravo for me, I had annoyed him.
Now we are in each others’ life and we can’t help it. He is still one of the most important people in my life and I care so much about him, but inevitably I feel left out of his. I’m still very close to his family, mostly to his sister, but he left me out of his life, his circle, in which I seemed to belong so well.
I guess that was the risk of wanting to know him so badly.
Yup, there is a Part three.