Results From My Emotion Dodging
Summarizing My Addiction As One Big Tornado
What is scary, as well as mind boggling is the routes that emotion dodging can take in our minds. Emotion dodging is something we all do to some degree. The obvious reason; well we do it to dodge our emotions of course. For myself, for upward of a decade, my emotion dodging activity took the form of substance abuse and addiction. I already had diagnosed mental health issues. So, anyone can guess how that all worked out.
I was doing some reading recently on emotion dodging, and I concluded just how blatant the insanity would play itself out. Without a sober mind, this may not even had been realized.
First, I’ll say it here, and I’ll repeat it later; I hope to never NOT, be thankful nor NOT be grateful for the fact that I found sobriety.
Sobriety just isn’t something that gets handed to you. The value of it shows its true worth through how hard it is to obtain, and how incredibly amazing it can be for one’s life.
Now, back to my point with this piece; as I said, I was recently reading and learning about emotion dodging. More specifically, my own emotion dodging. When I was asked about my own ways of emotion dodging, and why I felt I emotion dodged, my answer to that, was a mind boggling, scary realization.
First, I will remind that when I refer to the word insanity, I don’t specifically mean, insanity, as in a lifetime commitment to an insane asylum. I mean insanity, as in the way they define it in many recovery and sobriety curriculums; where we’re taught that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.
When I took a clear look at things, the mind boggling part of what I’m talking about, is the fact that when I was asked why I was emotion dodging, my reply was that I was emotion dodging because of my addiction. I didn’t want to have to think about or face my addiction problem. Including all the shit it had brought my life.
Where does the insanity kick in? Well first off, the insanity was long since present by that time, because like the definition says, I was waking up, everyday, for multiple thousands of days, expecting all my luck, fortune, change, and something different, to happen each morning.
Each day, it was that morning, where drugs would bring something good. Eventually, I learned to stop looking forward to the next day. Each morning, woke up, angry, that I had woken at all. Angry that a long day, of trying to find the perfect high and chase it. A terrible feeling waking up each morning with thoughts like those.
Besides the insanity of repeating the same thing each day, the insanity also showed itself, when I finally came to the realization that my emotion dodging act, was that of addiction. I was emotion dodging, because of my addiction. The equation became a strange and sad one.
Well, when I finally thought that I had it all figured out that I had the answer to the entire emotion dodging dilemma. What was the summary of my particular emotion dodging and all the way everything connected?
I had spent years, emotion dodging my addiction, by having an addiction. I was addicted to drugs, because I was addicted to drugs. That sure is an erratic, emotion, mental tongue twister right there. Sounds like nonsense, sounds like it doesn’t make sense, but it sure as hell makes plenty of sense.
If addiction has not crossed your life, count your blessing, and steer clear of it. Because it’s nothing happier than living in hell with the devil. Save yourself.