Sisterhood of the traveling mental illiness

It feels like just yesterday I was spending my days as an only child. I felt this sense of comfort that my mom would always be on my side. There was always something not quite right with my sister. She was always on a tirade, her actions made it easy for me to do as I pleased. Can you believe I was actually the good kid? Her accident happened on a day that she drug me from the bathroom by the hair because she had places to go. I called my grandmother to pick me up so that I could finish getting ready. I had barely been out of the shower when there was a frantic pounding on the bathroom door. My sister had been in an accident where she caused fatalities. She was transported to the hospital and handcuffed to the bed. She was allowed to come home for two days. The day the sheriff knocked on the door putting her in handcuffs in our dining room I had no emotion. My only instinct was to support my mother. We bonded her out for $10,000, money that was wasted due to her conviction. I kept thinking she wouldn’t go to prison. All she tested positive for was Marijuana. No drugs were even in the vehicle. The year leading up to her sentencing was filled with arrests and stealing from our family. From that moment on my life would never be the same. I was 15 spending my weekends in the IDOC prison visitation room with my sister who resented my outside life. Every time I tried to make things right with us she became a monster. She was about to be released from prison as we were moving to Texas, she never wanted to come here and just wanted her old life back. My mother and grandmother flew to pick her up. They spent the day shopping, my grandmother even wrote her a $10k check that was used for breast implants an elliptical. No one ever tried to reach her how to be an adult. Here we are 5 years later and my sister still lives off of my mother. She was diagnosed a bipolar schizophrenic. She’s violent and hateful, mostly towards me. She finally got her drivers license and thinks she’s going to get married. I’m thankful that she has at least gotten help and stayed on medication. She is still stealing and I often come home to my room being broken into. I really need to learn to let go of this situation and break free for my own happiness but I will forever have a guilty conscious for leaving my mom.