The “Blind Love” Concept is Dangerous
Especially when it’s a common practice in politics
It started with a casual conversation with my colleagues over lunch at work. We were talking about a new policy made by the government.
The conversation took place quite a while ago. I remember thinking a lot about it right after it happened, but then slowly it was pushed back to the back of my mind. Somehow, lately, that conversation came creeping back to me.
The Context
Context is everything, so I’ll fill you in about the situation. The conversation took place on a two-seater sofa in the corner of our office, a place where we often have our informal discussions and meetings.
There were maybe 6–7 people involved; mostly were millennials with some Gen X-ers thrown into that friendly-yet-a-bit-heated conversation. As always, everyone involved had their say on the matter. And that is okay — and welcomed, in fact — within this circle of friends.
I won’t be talking about the policy, or the political party, or all the logic behind our opinions. All of that is circumstantial. Different countries, different policies. I want to talk about a comment made by one of my friends during our discussion.
She agreed wholeheartedly with the new policy because she “really like” our president, so for her anything coming from this government is great. What surprises me is the fact that quite a lot of people shared the same view.
Now, we have a slang idiom in my country for someone who is so much in love that he/she would do anything for that person, and that was the words my friend used. Translated literally, it would be in the vicinity of “a slave of love”. It’s hard to find a perfect synonym for it in English, but I think “blind love” would do for now.
It was such a flippant comment, people use that idiom a lot in everyday conversations. But somehow that comment got stuck in my head. Maybe because of the context, or maybe because it somewhat reflects what’s going on in the world now.
The Psychology of Blind Love
The term “blind love” is more known in romantic relationships, but let’s stretch it a bit and apply it in other areas, shall we? In a romantic relationship, simply put blind love is that time when we love someone so much that all we see is the goodness of the person we’re in love with.
Since that conversation started to creep back to my mind, I’ve been racking up my brains to the things I learned back in my psychology classes. Honestly, I don’t remember we discussed a lot about blind love back then. So I looked up more resources about this subject. Because I think it would be interesting to see how blind love affects us, humans.
1. Overestimating
The British Psychological Society wrote here that:
“our perceptions of romantic partners are often not based on objective reality, but are rather positive illusions.”
To put it simply, you’re actually in love with the idealized version of that person. The version that you created in your mind. And that often happens in standard romantic relationships. Imagine when you love someone blindly. Most likely, the positive illusions are a few times doubled, right? Maybe even to the extent that his/her positive traits only exist in your imagination.
Applied in politics, this means that there is a very big chance that we also think a lot more highly of these political figures — when we “love” them blindly. We might regard them as more just, more knowledgeable, and every other more(s) that you can think of.
2. Defense mechanism
Apparently overestimating does not stop there. This article further discusses that according to Sigmund Freud, overestimating is a defense mechanism. It’s something we use to reassure ourselves about something that bothers us, that’s what it means.
This one is very surprising for me. We feel something is not quite right, so we “elevate” the other person’s traits. The human mind is indeed complicated. We sense something is not quite right, but instead of looking more into it and maybe accepting it, we add more fuel to our overestimation.
Why I think it’s dangerous
What I found brings more thoughts. Yeah, that’s the curse, right?
For the most part, in my opinion, loving someone blindly is not okay in any setting. For the simple reason that you just don’t see that person for who they are.
No matter who we are, we are humans with flaws and shortcomings. Even the leaders of nations, voted by millions of people, are not exempted from this human nature. Yes, they have numerous aides and lots of information available for them to utilize when making decisions. But these resources are in no way a guarantee for making the “right” choices (granted, “right” or “wrong” is always debatable).
My second argument would be related to the scope of impact. Simply put, if you love someone blindly in a romantic relationship, should anything goes south, the negative impacts will be felt mainly by you and your partner.
But when we take this concept to leaders and politics in larger settings: the community, politics, and ultimately a country, can you imagine how big of a danger it could be?
If a large part of the community agrees to a certain leader’s opinion blindly, no questions asked, I’d be very afraid.
Last Thoughts
I actually voted for the same president as my colleague did. And maybe my friend was genuinely just joking, that I’m just overthinking her response. But after some serious thinking on this “blind love” concept, I promise myself to always stay informed and be critical of any policy the government made — even though I voted for him/her.
Because as we all can attest to, no one is perfect. I also think we have the responsibility to think critically, to question things. Especially in a democratic society, where hopefully our opinions can contribute something to the debates on policies that — eventually — will also affect our lives.
Talking about this, I’m reminded of a piece Barack Obama wrote on Medium a while ago. In that article he said this:
“But like any leader, I had my blind spots.”
I admire him for recognizing that as a former US president, and I’m not even a US citizen. But this affirms the argument that even a leader of such a big nation — of course with almost an unlimited amount of resources to help him decide on something — has blind spots. It’s something that I think we all need to remember all the time.
Love all you want, but never blindly.
And especially not in politics.
