The flawed definition of happiness
What would make us happy?
What is happiness? There’s obviously a dictionary definition of the word which we’ve all learned or can learn by looking it up online. Whatever meaning we find online is abstract as it means different things to different people at different stages of life.
I’ll work with a definition that I think explains happiness in a way that most people would agree with. It describes it as
a state characterized by feelings of contentment and satisfaction with one’s life or current situation.
Describing it as a ‘state’ means that happiness is fleeting, it is momentous and we shouldn’t strive to be happy all the time. This definition contradicts itself in many ways.
First, if we don’t strive to be happy then we don’t get to achieve contentment and inner peace as we are constantly plagued by the thought of something missing, the feeling that we never got to experience, that which others have found and have loved enough to search for it again. And this could make our lives worse because without contentment we are left with worry and disappointment.
Another problem is when we eventually achieve that fleeting moment of happiness. When one experiences a great joy once, it proves to them that it is within their grasp and they would like to find it again. The problem with this is that in the quest for happiness we may often overlook the little victories in our life on that path to contentment and if the journey doesn’t pan out we would become ingrates, unaware of how far we’ve come and how many obstacles we’ve overcome because we did not receive the grand prize. A great author, Pearl.S. Buck said it best
‘Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness’.
The true definition of happiness should not be a state, a single snapshot of satisfaction or contentment. Happiness should exist as an afterthought to a life well-lived. A life consisting of doing things that we enjoy doing, of making our loved ones and even strangers smile without, of course, sacrificing our inner peace and identity.
Happiness shouldn’t be a never-ending quest for contentment that ultimately leaves us drained, displeased, and evaluating our true purpose in life. We should aim to be satisfied and be glad about what we have because when we find peace within ourselves we won’t need to look to the outside to find it.
This doesn’t mean, however, that we shouldn’t have dreams and aspirations, aim to be better, or improve ourselves. All that should be done but on the journey to self-betterment we should make sure to celebrate the small victories we have to find peace in both the journey and the destination. This ensures that when all is said and done we can look back on our lives and say with confidence that we truly did achieve happiness.
This happiness wouldn’t have been from the gratification of others, or even from material elements like money because if we needed those things to make us happy, we would always be searching for the next paycheck or compliment and lose ourselves in the process. It would be from our new mindset because at this point we have finally mastered the skill of being content with every little thing, we can realize that every moment has its benefit and we can appreciate the beauty of it. This is what would truly make us happy.
