The kindness of strangers – social capital in life
Before I get into this story I want to make reference to a small group of amazing strangers (most of whom I can now call friends). They invested in my now for no expectation of return…
Julian Stodd Sam Westlake Hannah Moxom Valerie De Pauw Emily Pykett and a few others I can’t find a link for but they will know who they are. Most recently Leah K Stewart
What follows is my 2nd draft (thank you Leah K Stewart for the feedback) of an application to deliver a TED Talks in Norwich. It’s not so important that I get to deliver the talk, what is more important is recognising the people that have helped me get to the point which means I am in a good place to just share my story. It will become clear later as you read through…
About me
South African born, Yorkshire bred; father first everything else second. I’m a student of psychology, both formally (with a Master’s Degree) and through my meandering reading (I look to learn every day).
As the Coach Developer lead with Sports Coach UK, I am a learning architect and programme designer for the professional workforce which grow the UK’s sports coaches. Building, skills, confidence, self-awareness and the knowhow of ‘Modern Learning’. Previously author/co-author and reviewer of various sport related text on tutoring, assessing, quality assurance and mentoring.
Through a growing consultancy ‘Be More – Learning & Development’ I work as a mentor in ‘Elite Sport’ exploring the life’s challenges, learning and coaching behaviours of those that bring medals home from London 2012, Rio 2016 and Tokyo 2020. Now moving into a new space of ‘social good’.
looking to make the world a better place one act, one conversation at a time.
I am a self-indulgent procrastinator, hopeless dreamer, hapless romantic, thinker, poet, curious learner, sometimes being that random stranger that helps. Blogger about the life that hits me, trying always to get better at it. Happy to be my own tenth man (if it’s not broken break it – we may make it better).
The Pitch:
The home of connection is our learning spaces, with a captive audience capable of weaving the fabric of society over a fracturing landscape. This talk intends to help educators embrace social capital as a mechanism for building ‘good will’ in each other for the social good of our world.
Title:
Social Capital: Investment in the now of others for re-investment later
Length: +/- 10 min
The 400 word sell
This talk will use authentic stories about communities and trust to show how ‘social capital’ is something for everyone.
Something we all possess and can share (should we wish to). The potential magic pill for every generation, it has no age demographic or ceiling.
I will consider its worth in helping learning happen and the steps we take to cultivate it and nurture it for the advancement of individual/group growth.
What follows is a short illustration of ‘social capital’ in life – In early 2016 my wife (the amazing Toni Lindley) passed away, at this point my world could have imploded if it weren’t for the kindness of strangers. I found myself a single parent on the edge of reason question my purpose, my world and my ability to be a good father. What happened next was a cascade of kindness from people I’d never met, in the strangest of places – a learning and development conference with a difference (the Social Age Safari).
Over the course of 3 days this community of 40+ privateers seemingly only connected through job role chose to invest in me. Not in my professional development but in my personal wellbeing. I can’t be sure why these people choose this course of action…
but the social investment they made has led to a building of social capital, a deeper connection between strangers.
I gave nothing to these strangers other than my openness and vulnerability, they gave nothing to me other than their authentic empathy but yet these seem to be the most valuable of intangibles.
Their ‘investment in my now’ for no preconceived ‘re-investment later’ has meant we have become (in the best possible way) socially indebted to each other. We hold a stock of ‘social capital’ in each other’s lives/wellbeing.
So I return to my passion for learning and ask – how do we model the kindness of strangers in our teaching spaces, creating this as a normal act, a habit of choice. This talk will outline steps in getting learners to commit themselves to each other, invest in each other, to build social capital useful to both the learning community as a whole and the individuals within it. We’ll consider the creation of ‘social trust’, enabling the sharing of personal stories, and the investment in these stories (for no preconceived return later). Something given forward, without expectation of payback but as a reciprocity of growth.
