The Side Effects Of Bullying

In recent years bullying has become a large social issue but it’s not new. It has been around forever ,only now it has become much bigger since the Internet has made it possible to polarize the issue.

We now take it seriously, there are even sensitivity programs in schools now. Then there are those who will say it’s kids being kids, just get over it. Those people need to understand the fallout that occurs due to such behavior.

You don’t just get over it. Whether anyone wants to realize it, bullying has lasting effects on the victim and the one doing the bullying.

My Experience

When I was in Elementary School I had severely crooked teeth that weren’t a pretty sight and I was small and quiet. I was bullied by a group of girls on a daily basis. They didn’t physically harm me like much of bullying is today, but what they did would stay with me for years to come.

You are probably saying or thinking that I grew out of it. Did I? I can tell you what it did to me. Children and self-esteem are an uphill battle that I would struggle with for years to come.

What resulted is trust issues that still live inside me today. It made me distrustful of others and create barriers so that I wouldn’t be hurt. It made me want to be invisible and make myself small which created problems connecting with others.

Bullying really kind of has a brain washing effect. You start to wonder if there is something so wrong with you that others would purposely seek you out to torment. I believe it changed my developing personality and may be directly linked to my overwhelming need to please others and be liked. This in turn left me vulnerable to being bullied as an adult.

I am different today, I am confident, I am outspoken. How did this change? A large part of the change involved real support and self affirmation. The realization that I am and always have been enough.

What Are We Teaching Our Kids?

I think we don’t think our kids will be bullies. We tend to think these kids are products of a poor upbringing or a difficult home life. I don’t believe that is always true. We teach our kids respect and manners but are we teaching them compassion, empathy, and tolerance?

It is something we need to think about more. We need to tell them that they are no better than anyone else. That different is okay and to protect those that are smaller or weaker.

We need to tell them that they don’t know anything about what another person goes through and to show caring to all. We need to teach them to choose kindness and everyone matters.

Have you been bullied? What’s your story?