The Top Five Mr.Wrongs You Are Most Likely To Meet In Hyderabad

While there are plenty of reasons to stay single and happy, the downside of being unmarried in your late 20s in Hyderabad is that friends and strangers alike are continually astonished at your unhitched status. Clearly I don’t act like a deviant or look like a leprechaun. “So, what’s the problem?”, they ask.

The problem is that though the girl may indeed be spoilt for choice, it’s just that the choices are not exactly good.

You may have already met some of these fine fellows — whether you wanted to or not! But here are the potential prospects most of us — single ladies, end up meeting in Hyderabad — the ones who are keeping us, at least me, resolutely single.

The One Living Out Of His Suitcase
You know the silver-tongued, sweet-talkin’, perfect bronze skinned, friendly guy from the next town? This guy with his much desired MBA from either the IIMs or ISB, working a job at Facebook or Google, would seem like he has it all. That is, until the next weekend. When he would inevitably insist on traveling home, which in most cases is either Chennai or Bangalore, leaving you alone for the said period of time.

Give it a few months, and it would start to feel like you are in a long-distance relationship — one you actually did not sign up for!

The One That Is ‘Tom Ford Perfect’
He is gorgeous, kind, and can cook! He always smells like fresh dryer sheets with a hint of Burberry. He is suave, well-spoken, chivalrous, with perfect table manners, and is always dressed for the occasion. The deadly combination of a high IQ and even higher EQ would, at first, seem quite attractive.

That is, until you look around and realise he’s got a boyfriend — who is also someone you are secretly crushing on!

The One With Hazel Eyes Screaming For Angst-Ridden Love
This is the guy we have all fallen for. The 30-something, single, much wronged soul. Dissatisfied with everything — his job, his car, his apartment, unsympathetic family, friends, everything! He is highly intelligent, a brilliant conversationalist and often, the soul of every party. But the moment the crowd starts to thin, he becomes the emotional, yet detached, bled-of-all-his-life, melancholic soul.

Here’s the catch. Most women can’t resist the temptation of being the one to save him.

But soon enough, you would begin to realise that while he wallows in his self-misery, more often than not, he drags you down as well.

The One That All Mothers Love, Including Our Own
Now here’s the guy who is almost perfect. Warm, friendly and dressed to the nines. He plays golf, lives around Jubilee Hills or some other Hills, drives a Mercedes Coupe, and only holidays abroad. He might seem very approachable at first. However, having a conversation with him would be like talking to a brick wall. The limited topics include; Mummy’s yoga classes, Mummy’s kitty parties, Mummy’s cooking, and every once in a while, Chetan Bhagat’s latest book.

Which is all quite endearing in its own way, but not when you’re the one dating the man.

The One Who Is Still In Love With His Ex
All of us have a few proverbial skeletons in the closet when it comes to love. But when he cannot just stop talking about his ex, or spends Sunday dinners at her family’s house because his ex is also his new BFF, there’s a big problem. Harmless and overly nice, this guy is particularly good at friend-zoning himself. Whether it’s the distracted look in his eye, an offhand comment, or something sinister like his ‘platonic’ dates with his ex, there are times you know in your heart that this guy can never fully be invested in you.

He sends off all the right signals. But soon enough you might find yourself face to face with this seemingly pleasant gentleman who’s still got the scent of his ex on him.

Since chances of me finding a date after I publish this piece is close to none, I am going back to eating suspicious amount of chocolate mousse and booking tickets to my next big adventure!

Note: While I may have been away from the dating scene for a while, I do still have friends who with their personal experiences and remarkably keen wit have provided me the fodder for this piece.

Though this piece may hit close to home for some of you, this is not to be treated as a handbook for dating in Hyderabad. I love this city and the men I meet in my social circle! But I also love my own sense of humor enough not to make rash edits to this piece, which I hope you can respect.

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