The worst possible kind of person you can work with
“Ή στραβός ειν’ ο γιαλός ή στραβά αρμενίζουμε”
Wait! Don’t be put off by the strange Lovecraftian language you’ve just been subjected to. It’s Greek. And it’s the best kind of greek: self-deprecating and reality-affirming with the right dose of bitterness and humor added for taste.
This is my favorite greek quote, and there are a lot of great greek quotes. Just ask Socrates, Plato or, erm… Chris Diamantopoulos, I guess?
Translated, what it says is “either the sea is slanted or we have tilted the ship”. Hmm… doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, but… you get it, right? Essentially, it means that either something impossible is happening or we simply have to admit that we’re doing something wrong. It’s Occam’s Razor for personal accountability.
Have you ever heard a woman calling herself an “asshole magnet”? What’s the first thing that goes through your mind? Like, really goes through your mind? That she has somehow summoned the mystical ability to make assholons (subatomic particles that act like a dick) gravitate towards her? Or could it be something else? Yeah.
You might be surprised to learn that the asshole magnet has a counterpart in business.
The Constant Victim
I’m a dentist. You know how I know that a new patient is going to be hell to deal with? As soon as they come into my office claiming that their previous dentist has “destroyed their teeth”, I start planning my escape. Thankfully, I have memorized all the exits by now.
Usually, this sort of patient has an entire backlog of grievances against a multitude of other dentists. Turns out, not one of them was competent.
- Dentist One, John Smith (because you always get a name) was fresh out of school, so he probably didn’t know what he was doing.
- Dentist Two, Steve Smith (no relation) was over sixty, so he didn’t keep up with advances in modern dentistry, plus he probably didn’t wash his hands after pissing himself, which was almost a certainty since he’s so old.
- Dentist Three, Denzel Washington (honest!) was middle-aged, so he was suggesting unnecessary work to fund his upcoming Ferrari purchase, no doubt a result of his crippling mid-life crisis.
I won’t even get into Dentists Four, Five, Six and Eight (Seven wasn’t so bad, but he had a tiny TV).
You know who’s going to be added to this patient’s ever-growing list of supposedly shitty dentists next? You got it: anyone unfortunate enough to book them an appointment. And no matter what they do, they are screwed.
This victim mentality goes hand in hand with not being able to take responsibility for anything.
But I’m not a dentist. This doesn’t concern me.
LOL. You think, buster. This experience is transferrable to any other business. You’ll get this kind of customer whether you’re a designer, a programmer, a coffee shop owner or a mail-order bride. Let’s just hope that you’re not a mail-order bride.
For example, if you’re a designer, you’ll send mockups to your client and ask for feedback or approval. You’ll specify that, if they want you to get the project done on time, they’ll have to get back to you within the week. They’ll get back to you after two weeks and still expect you to complete the project on time.
I mean, it wasn’t their fault that their epileptic dog had a week-long seizure. And you know the worst part? You get to be a part of their never-ending list of subpar designers they were unfortunate enough to work with.
Is there a way out of this? Yep.
Kindly decline working with them
As soon as you spot the early warning signs (everyone they worked with in the past was incompetent, nothing was ever their fault), get out of there fast!
As soon as you spot the early warning signs, get out of there fast!
Say that you are overwhelmed with work and you can’t fit them into your schedule. Or that you are leaving for a month-long vacation in a couple of days. Hell, your own dog is currently in the middle of a week-long epileptic seizure.
Trust me on this. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and heartache by following this simple advice.
