To be Happy you Must First be Brave
No one ever changed the world by playing it safe.
Living an authentic life requires the most ridiculous levels of bravery. It shouldn’t be this way but it is. Somehow we value the way things appear to be more than the way things actually are. So socially you will be better off playing the game, pretending that everything is fine, everything is great, nothing to see here, than you will be if you are ready to admit and own your shortcomings, or celebrate your skills and virtues.
However that path is not an authentic one. It requires keeping up with the Jones’es and constantly worrying about what others think of you. To truly be free requires a willingness to let go of the path society has laid out for you. It asks you to consider your passions, interest and will and follow them instead of the path expected of you by society.
The bulk of the work I do is with women who have left abusive relationships. Due to this work I am aware of a lot of men who live in my locality who are abusive. Because of my values around supporting victims of abuse I am unable to stay friends with any person who has been bullying or abusive to anyone I know. In practical terms that means me defriending people on facebook and not supporting them, their businesses or enterprises in real life.
Because I live my values I have a lot of people who hate me. My values are not just intangible things I say — they are lived in action. This seems to terrify and anger some people and they chose to hate me and be cruel to me rather than address issues with the abusive people in their lives. It is easier and safer for them to be angry with me and blame me than it is to make changes in their lives or challenge people they know about their behaviours.
Living authentically means different things to different people but it requires shitloads of bravery, because the moment you start actioning your values is the moment people start hating you for doing so. They hate on you because they are not brave enough to do it and your actions shine a light on their inaction. That makes people uncomfortable. They hate you for upsetting the status quo. This is where a lot of courage is needed. Living authentically is the least easy path, but I believe it is the most personally rewarding.
I think the greatest advances in society have come about because of people who were brave enough to live their values and challenge the way they were told things “should” be. People like Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Eddie Mabo, Peter Benenson and Malala Yousafzai to name a few are all great examples of people who changed the world with their personal bravery.
Happiness does not lie in trying to maintain society’s expectations of you, it lies with living a life of actions that follow your true path, following your ideal you. What would the best version of you be thinking now? What would they do? Who do they hang out with? Dream up the best possible version of yourself and be brave enough to step into living that reality. You may feel alone at first but you will find your tribe of people who appreciate the authenticity you are offering and are attracted to it.
Inauthentic people are living a half life, bound by the expectations of others and unable to see their way out. I invite you to choose something better for yourself. Choose authentic, highest vision you.
Be brave. I believe in you.
