Trump in final grotesque bid to force himself down country’s throat.
Just when we thought Trump’s deranged sense of entitlement and self importance could inflate no further, doctors have issued a jaw-dropping diagnosis to underscore the republican nominee’s rampant narcissism.
In raging defiance of the current media twister swirling around him, Mr Trump has become so aggressively rapacious in his desire for the office of the United States presidency, that his entire body appears to have now fully distended, leaving the republican nominee completely tumescent head to toe.
The doctors go on to explain that the unmitigated sensory and mental incitement fed by an obsessed media and an increasingly riled public have stimulated the pleasure center in Trumps brain to such an extent that every artery in his body has been ‘blown open, sending a torrent of blood surging forth to fill even the tiniest open spaces in his entire 6ft 3 frame’.
Unfazed by any medical concerns or the cries of abject horror and revulsion the sight of him evoke, an oblivious and turgescent Trump is reportedly ‘humbled’ to now truly embody his political ambition, so people can ‘really get a load’.
A cowering Chris Christie, speaking through a tiny hole in his PVC face mask, hopes this will finally silence any lingering doubts regarding Trumps political prowess, adding,
‘It sometimes takes a non politician to bring America to its knees and make her his bitch’
Engorged to monumental parody, Trump’s doctors confirm that this alarming swell will certainly strain American democracy beyond even our founding fathers’ worst nightmares. Trump they warn, seems determined to teach America an especially hard and painful lesson about what liberty and democracy can really feel like.
‘A collective bracing’ they caution, ‘seems imminent.’
For now, the entire country remains catatonic, aghast at the spectacle of the angry full body boner some still hope will become the next President of the United States.
The rest of us can only hold our breath and gird ourselves for how he might wield himself in desperation on an already spent nation.
