Vipassana — My journey

Once I decided to move on from Flipkart, I had decided that before I take up anything else, I will spend time with family. My parents have been living in Burma(now Myanmar) since 1997, and I had not spent a lot of time with them since 2002 when I started working. I decided to spend a month in Burma. When I informed my mother about it, she asked me to consider doing Vipassana, while I was there. Its amazing, how my mother thinks about what might benefit me more, even if it comes at the cost of us spending time together! She had done Vipassana about 10 years back and had told me then — that I should do it, whenever I can make time for it.

Making time for Vipassana — seemed non-trivial all these year. Being busy working in a high growth startup, carrying the guilt of not spending enough time with wife & kids — make the thoughts of taking a 10 day break without family, almost unthinkable. But my wife had been very supportive & agreed to me spending a month away from her & kids in Burma — so now, this was a real possibility. I signed up for it.

In the lead up, I realised that a lot of people around me had been through Vipassana. One evening a bunch of us from early Flipkart days were sitting & chatting at Tapas’s house and I realised that I was the only 1 in the group of 6 who had not yet experienced Vipassana — and I was the oldest in the group! I also wondered, if this was a pure coincidence or was there something about how we were hiring at Flipkart in the early days. I kept meeting more people who had been through Vipassana — and recommended it whole heartedly and I was wondering, why I hadn’t heard more about it earlier!

Few days before the course, I read up the rules. Fairly strict, but the only thing that really bothered me — was that I won’t be able to write. By now — I was deeply committed to taking it as it comes & do Vipassana without any expectations.

So how was it?

Firstly, it was hard, physically hard — sitting on the ground for 11+ hours (with breaks) in a day — isn’t something that my body was prepared for. It took some time, but I got used to it. Other aspects like waking up at 4am or not having dinner, did not bother me at all. The Burmese vegetarian food that I had was fantastic.

The other part which was even harder & still a journey — was for my mind to not wander about too much. In the first few days, of the time I was supposed to focus & meditate, I think 90% of the time — my mind was wandering — thinking about all kinds of things — Flipkart; Education; Kids; Wife…. By the tenth day — this came down to about 50% and now when I practice Vipassana at home — I am able to focus for 70% time.

The kind of thoughts that come up during these mind wandering periods — told me a lot about myself. Things that I thought, I didnt care about or value much — and the mind continuously thinking about them — helped me learn about myself.

The philosophy

I resonated with about 70% of the Vipassana philosophy — which is essentially derived from core tenets of Buddhism.

• The only person who can really help you in this journey — is you.
• Karma — What you do and also the intentions & your thoughts behind the action, impact your future.
• Dharma (Dhamma) and Karma cant be separated. Dharma — is the way you live — your actions. It is the basic behaviour and properties of everything — the laws of nature. Beyond your actions — there is no need for rituals.
• Learning that comes from Experiencing(Actions) — is far deeper than learning by reading/listening. I liked the experimental approach to learning that Mr.Goenka talks about many times.
• Doing good (for others & the world) being the only meaningful purpose

The parts I do not understand and hence am agnostic about include rebirth/life cycles, different kinds levels of lives, and so on. But these do not keep me from appreciating the parts I mentioned earlier which I have felt for a long time.

The Technique

I liked the technique a lot. It felt pure. The fact that you were not using any external aid — not even a chant, and were relying purely on your own awareness & understanding of your breath & sensations — appealed to me.

The process of disciplining one’s mind — seemed very good, and the smallest aspects of the programme had been thought through. Later as some participants shared — Its amazing how the program runs with very high consistency across the globe.

The people

On the tenth day, when we could talk to each other — I learnt about some of the folks and was truly amazed by their lives. Some of them had been traveling for 3+ years — working for societies, learning about themselves, experimenting with life.

I was deeply inspired by my room mate — Denis Zeziukin, my room-mate. A 23yr old Russian, Denis has been on the road — hitchhiking for about a year now. Traveling through Norway, Russia, Mongolia, China, Thailand, Cambodia & Burma. His last FB post suggests he is now in Tibet! He ran out of money in 3 months & survived by selling photographs. His experiences were amazing & I wish I had more time to hear more of them.

What has stayed with me

People asked me if I had any out-worldly experiences or if I had changed fundamentally? No such thing happened.

Like with most techniques — the power of Vipassana is in the practice post the course. While I have done some of it, it is far far below the recommended 2 hours daily. I used to practice other simpler forms of meditation before, I do experience my mindfullness to have increased.

The most noticeable change that I experience — I am probably a lot more aware of my own actions. For every small knowing mistake, I am able to observe myself immediately. A small lie like ”I am on my way”, when in reality, I may be just getting out of the house — I have immediately regretted it.

Would I recommend Vipassana to you?

Yes! But do keep in mind that its hard. Go without an specific expectations. The best advise I got before Vipassana was from Akshay Kothari — “Do it 10 on 10. Do not try to do 11 on 10 or 9 on 10”

Just the concept of being able to plug out of the world for 10 days — is amazing. Add to that, a good philosophy & a pure technique — Its an experience worth going through.

You should also read Nitin Seth’s experience of Vipassana. Nitin took up the HR job after me at Flipkart, and we’ve become friends since. He was smart enough to do Vipassana before setting of on the crazy ride that Flipkart is :)