We Are Always Standing At The Fork In The Road

When grace calls to us

I can feel the present moment inviting me this morning, through the brightening of my senses. The final snows of winter falling, the car tires sounding their way through the wet streets like waves. Everything is softening, including my heart.

This moment beckons with an almost pregnancy of hope. “Come, stay, don’t spin a world of false pleasures, don’t cover me, don’t turn away from this.”

And yet, wanting is strong, it pushes, it says, “Salvation is here up ahead, just feel the taste of it.” The imagined thing pulls, exacting its price, deferring surrender, deferring the absolute.

But today I see. Which will I choose?

The present moment, in her infinite generosity, will wait. She will stand next to me every single moment of this waking life, with open hands. Steadfast, she whispers, “I will never leave you. I will never leave you. When you are ready, turn towards me and I will share my secrets.”

It takes a certain faith to say yes to her. To decide to live fully in this body, in this heart. Opening to the undivided, fierce and tender. I gather all strands that issue forth from me and call them back, call them home.

No one choice lasts forever and sleep will come again. But each taste of this freedom makes me want to stay.

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