What Heroes Can Teach Us about Vulnerability
A few years ago I was on a road trip with my father, long trips are great for conversations that you may not usually have. My father grew up a catholic and along the way converted to Hinduism, so we always had conversations about the meaning of spirituality. I can’t remember how we got on to this particular topic but it was about monks and the value of isolating from society so you can purify yourself.
I’m a big believer in creating pockets of solitude so you can reflect and give yourself the headspace to think. During the day I try and carve out a few minutes for myself and write in my journal.
We were discussing what’s harder, a monk that never loses their cool because they are far from society, or someone who has to deal with flawed human beings every day but maintains their personal values?
You and I have our flaws, we impose these on others and also experience people’s flaws. On a daily basis, you may experience someone’s anger, impatience, or insecurity.
Some of the greatest harm is done to people we fear, so we seek to suppress them or create inequality. This has played out from generation to generation, and it will continue to do so.
Even in the darkest times, there will be people that stand out for their humanity and courage. Flawed human beings like you and I that make a decision to do act, or not to act.
Sometimes being a hero means refusing to go with the crowd, refusing orders, and not allowing yourself to be polluted by an evil act.
Heroes Teach Us to Be Vulnerable
Every story is made great by the existence of jeopardy, the threat that something could go wrong. Every superhero film follows the same script, these incredible human beings are not completely invincible, they have weaknesses.
The excitement comes from the fact that the hero has to triumph while navigating the weakness. Superman has to overcome kryptonite, Professor X has an incredible mind but is physically limited, and underneath all the amazing tech, Iron Man has a damaged heart.
These weaknesses are the undercurrent of every story, the story would be boring without that threat of something going wrong. This is why we need heroes, to show us that vulnerability is ok. To help us see that we don’t need perfection in order to act, in fact, it is in our imperfection that we move people.
Perfection is not inspiring, it may look good but long term it is actually quite boring. The story that moves people is the story of triumph in spite of weakness and adversity. That is your story, that is our story.
Some days require physical strength, some mental exertion and some just require you to be still. These acts, no matter how small, can be heroic in their own way.
I had a family member who was incredibly intelligent, a qualified engineer, but he wasn’t a good businessman. When he passed away, there was very little material evidence of his mental brilliance. And yet, this only makes me love him even more, he kept trying to the very end.
I look back and think of him fondly because while he was alive he was able to put his siblings through school and provide for his family as best as he could.
I have a friend who grew up in South Africa and had a complicated relationship with black people due to the history of apartheid in the country, yet she considered me to be her best friend and was always there for me even when we weren’t in the same country. Our heroes are flawed, that’s the way it has always been.
Vulnerability is not weakness, its human and it's part of who we are. It's part of what makes people heroes, a reminder that deep down we are the same. No one is perfect, and no one will ever be perfect, but that in itself is exactly what should motivate us to do good and worthy deeds.
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