What to do if you feel the urge to Mansplain…

So you’re with a woman and you’re feeling the urge…it’s building up inside of you like a dam ready to burst….you have information to share! And there’s a woman nearby so she wants to listen to you right? And as far as you can tell it’s win-win yeah? You get to talk, she gets to listen.

Wrong.

Unless the woman has explicitly invited you to explain something to her then DON’T DO IT.

I know though, it’s hard and the urge is strong right? You have stuff to say about stuff! So here’s what you do instead. You look for the nearest man, and you TELL HIM INSTEAD.

And watch his face closely as you explain to him. Make sure you speak to him exactly how you would speak to a woman, so he gets the full experience of the verbal offerings you usually direct at women. Don’t be one of those guys who talks to men differently to how they talk to women (cause those guys are sexists, and you’re not, cause you have things you want to say to women right?) Now, notice how he’s responding. Is he really into it? If yes then fire ahead, mansplain to your hearts content!

“Wait, so you’re saying I can NEVER explain anything to a woman?” I hear you ask.

Now if the woman has said to you “Hey Jeff, I hear you’re an expert in Renaissance Art, could you talk me through the Italian Masters?” Then fire away Jeff.

If however the woman has expressed zero interest in hearing your thoughts on anything then don’t expect to take up her time with your passion for Botticelli. If you push ahead with your unwanted lecture without gauging interest and seeking consent first then you’re being a bit of a dick Jeff.

Sometimes though when you fancy a woman you just want an excuse to chat to her though amirite Jeff? And telling her about your area of expertise might impress her right?

Wrong Jeff. Wrong.

You know what impresses women AND makes them think you’re interested in them?

Asking questions Jeff. About her. Amazingly, women respond when people express interest in them, their lives and their opinions! Incredible but true.

So, to recap:

1. Never offer unsolicited advice/lectures/explanations to women. EVER.
2. If the urge is too great, find a MAN to tell instead. See how he likes it!
3. If you actually want to connect with a woman, try asking questions instead.

You’re welcome Jeff, you’re welcome.

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