Why I Gave Facebook Up

Yes, I’m that guy now

This is one of the lamest topics ever, I know. But I need to write something today and don’t have the bandwidth or energy to work on some of the deeper wells of topic I’d prefer to draw from.

So we’ll be swimming in this shallow sea instead.

  1. I’ve got better things to do. Pretentious sounding, sure, but realize that my judgment is about what is important to me, not what should be important to you. Sure, at some point you could easily cross the line into pissing away your time entirely via Facebook without any defense to the contrary. But I also have better things to do than assume the worst of you and your usage. So, back to point, there are a lot of things I want to accomplish. There are a few things I must accomplish (e.g. raising two decent human beings). None of these are aided by me knowing which fake news source some of my friend is sharing or which old high school friend had a new baby (I’m totes still happy for you, though #KIT #ClassOf2005)
  2. You’ve got better things to do. Not better things than being on Facebook at all (see above), but better things to do than see my life in your feed. In other words, I don’t need to add to the noise. I stuck around to try to be a bit of a prophetic voice amidst the upside down world we lived in during the last year and a half of campaigning. Now that upsidedownedness is becoming normal with the election of our Supremely Upsidedown Ruler wanting to rule his United States of Upsidedownland I’ve got little use for being a voice in the wilderness of Facebook. That means my posts would be little more than noise in your already noisy life. You’re welcome. One less person to ignore or disagree with.
  3. I want a challenge. Alongside the tumultuous election season I was lingering on Facebook because I was being lazy. I’ve finally found a decent groove again as far as a writing schedule goes. I used to have an audience in my former life. Most, if not all, of that audience is on Facebook so I figured I could re-inherit my old audience, more or less. That didn’t work out all that well, for starters, and it allowed me to be a lazy bum in that I didn’t have to create an audience. Instead of writing about things I really cared about and working my little arse off to build a following of any size I was writing with less honesty—with a small muzzle on at times, really—and was leaning on a simple Facebook post of my article to generate any sort of buzz. I got some humble pie and a reminder that a prophet isn’t welcomed in his own town. It’s time now to roll up the sleeves and find a way to write in a way that adds value to people’s lives enough for them to show back up.
  4. I want freedom. Another way to put this is to say that I don’t want to be a slave. Facebook (and other social media outlets, including Medium) give us that dopamine hit that we ultimately end up craving. Only one day off of the platform and I’ve had multiple times throughout the day where my brain tried to send a signal to do the usual action sequence.* I don’t like being a slave. I like freedom. I like even less the idea of being a slave to something stupid. If it’s gonna happen then at least be something more practical and generally enjoyable: wealth, alcohol, etc.

It’d be cool of me to care about the privacy concerns Facebook raises (and continually falls short on), but it would be disingenuous of me to ride that wave. There are likely some other reasons if I really think about it, but as I said above: I’ve got little energy and lots to do.

Fare thee well, Facebook friends. And good riddance.

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*cmd+tab to swap to Chrome, cmd+t for a new tab, type “fa” to get Facebook to autofill, hit return, enjoy the bliss of social affirmation or drown in the sea of online stupidity


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