Would You Care To Dine With Me?

We all have times when we want to get closer to this person, but you just don’t know how. Some people say that we have to “talk” to get closer. Please. We all know that. The genuine problem is how are we going to find an excuse to talk to them? How about inviting them for a meal? A meal has some secret “powers” that we are usually negligent about. Did you know having a meal with another person is the preeminent way to get to know them? It lets you catch onto so many things from their favorite food, their eating habits, and even some of their personal life. A meal is when you feel informal and lets you open up about your culture and personal life. How is that, you may ask? Food is a substantial part of our culture. When we eat, we unconsciously demonstrate what kind of cultural backgrounds we have by our food preference and eating style. Also, a meal is able to provide you with a gateway to a conversation, letting you discover new things about the other. I recall that time when that one meal sincerely made me feel like I was finally able to communicate.

It was a foggy day with a sheet of gray clouds blanketing the sky of North Vancouver, a small section of Vancouver in the province of BC, Canada. The sky looked as if it was about to cry out buckets of rain. I could completely relate to the sky on that particular day. My nails were the victim of repetitive biting and my sky blue nail polish was harshly scratched off. My eyes were dim and out of focus, not wanting to catch onto reality. But that was only me. That was the problem. Everyone else was psyched about the day. There were some primary kids running around merrily around the playground. Some of my friends were chatting excitedly about the things coming up today. I was probably the only one that was cramped up in the corner of the class, still trying to figure out what to do. As I sighed to myself, I thought, ‘what did I do?’

Three days before that dismal day, during homeroom, our homeroom teacher, Mr. E was giving us instructions about a school event. Our school was having the first ever “multi-cultural potluck luncheon.” As a matter of fact, our class had numerous cultural backgrounds. Our class was like a melting pot of cultures from the continents around the world. Obviously, from the continent of North America, we had Canadians. We actually also had a girl in class named Mikaela from Portland, U.S. We had a boy named Romero all the way from Mexico, five Persian girls, one boy from England, and a French girl. Of course, I was Korean. I and my friends decided to gather and prepare for this lunch together. I decided to go with Bulgogi, because it was similar to beef teriyaki, a sort of Japanese food that Canadians loved. My Persian friend, Alisha decided to make Kebob because it is one of the more subtle Persian foods that Canadian kids will eat without any kind of denial. My Canadian friend, Kat, decided to bake ginger cookies. The day I feared the most came and I was helpless holding a container filled with Bulgogi, which I was skeptical about whether the kids would even eat it. I had on Hanbok which was completely out of the ordinary with the colors of Christmas, red and gold all over. The reason behind that is because my friends decided to wear traditional outfits that represented each of our countries. I felt like one of those souvenir dolls they sell at the National Museum of Korea. I was in the corner of the cloak room trying to be unnoticed when my friends decided to take me out for a stroll in the hallway, getting us stares from everyone standing in the hall as we walked by. My friends started to apply some makeup and they reached to help me and saw me basically hyperventilating. They asked for an explanation and I explained how I hated wearing flashy dresses and was completely nerve-wrecked from my insecurity. I was insecure of my culture, which is quite a normal thing if you think of it in my perspective. If you are the only one with that cultural background, it is easy to feel insecure. My friends endeavored to make me feel better, but I couldn’t.

The luncheon started and people started presenting their food. When it was my turn to speak, I felt like I was about to throw up my insides. I managed to stutter out the speech I prepared for hours and the short one-minute speech felt like an hour. But the result was contrary from what I expected. I waited for no one to come up to our table of foods. But lots of people actually commented on how nice our clothes looked and loved our dishes. I actually got to know a lot of people in my class through the experience. It really felt like a true melting pot of cultures. It felt like our cultures were finally communicating at last.

We all start off from awkward acquaintances. In every relationship, there is always a starting point. It is crucial to develop that relationship further. How can we do that? Well, interpersonal relationships are probably a really tough subject on the agenda. So, why don’t we start off by having a meal together? It doesn’t matter if you are from different cultural backgrounds or have different religions. A meal is a “ritual” that we all precede and we learn a lot about each other throughout that small meal. We are able to understand each other’s differences, creating a gateway that leads us to the second base of our relationships. So, I want to ask you one last question. Would you care to dine with me?