Feb 3, 2022
You’ll Never Get Help If You Don’t Ask
Sometimes, you have to simply have blind faith using your heart, when your physical eyes see nothing but doom. There were times, some times were long ago,and other times were quite recent, where I neglected my heart, leading me down to a path of nothing but relapse, dates with the devil, and not only emotional and mental health hurt, but physically I was beginning to fail as well. Our minds play a lot of tricks on us.
For us addicts, what better to convince us to relapse then our own minds?
What, is the absolute worse to convince us that abusing drugs will be the best way to numb, and bury our sadness toward any and all types of pain? See how I use the word “what” instead of the word “who.” If it were really who, instead of what, the who would be our hearts, and soul.
The kind of place where faith can be found.My fellow addicts, always remember that we are at our worst, when we are alone and silent.
When we do not speak out regarding our pains, when we suffer in silence, we go down that path that does nothing good, and in fact it does nothing more then remove our “faith.”
Faith, means believing in something we may not be able to see or touch, yet we know it is there. For myself, my “faith” refers to God. I have never had success with anything when I was furthest from my faith.
My faith, though always sitting there within my grasp, is never willing to do the work for me.
I had to always be at my very worst, total disgusting rock bottom, totally beaten down to a mere shell of what a real man is, before I had the guts to reach out, literally, look for Gods hands within the darkness around me that I had created, and speak out, asking,
“Dear God, I know I can do this, but I need you so bad. Please, I need FAITH to have my back
No mere human can win a battle like Heroin addiction by themselves. Once again, it’s all about that word faith. My definition of faith to me, has a broader definition than just God.
My faith also seeps into the wonderful support network of family and friends. They too, though always there in the darkness, reaching out to help me, were also many times ignored and neglected by me. I learned, that ya can’t get any help if you are not asking for it.
At our darkest times, we seem to find it harder then ever to surrender. A major part of Faith, is surrendering. As they say, “trust the process.” I once, was a man who was emotionally, and physically bankrupt due to lack, and refusal of faith, and surrender.
Those things took time, and all I ever wanted was a quick fix, a quick change, nothing but instant Gratification.
As we all know, that is something, that just does not happen. Instant Gratification, should be in the dictionary, with a definition of “lack or refusal to do the work.” If something was so simple, it would lack substance.
Today, I am happy to not pursue an easy way out. Today, I am proud to have positive results from hard work, with a result of a healthy and sound mind.There are still troubles, and tough times on my horizon. But, today, I know at least it is something I can handle.
