Your beautiful dream + my ugly process
My process is slow. It’s plain stupid sometimes.
It’s screwing up that video and re-doing it… about 105 times. And not even using it after all that.
It’s writing that ebook over and over and over again, ad nauseam, until it’s “just okay.” It’ll be imperfect. Accept that.
When I’m working through this process, I lose my patience. I want to quit.
I get sick of being with myself. “Oh, there I am again.”
Sometimes I miss my team. Sometimes… not so much.
It’s feeling like I’m THIS close to (figuratively) jumping off the ledge.
Then I breathe. And I remember why I’m doing this in the first place.
I remember that higher calling that made me start this business. That thing that inspires me to sitting here hour-after-hour at my own volition, instead of day-drinking and watching romantic comedies.
It’s that higher calling that made it impossible to sit through one more God-awful, painful, soul-sucking staff meeting.
See, I’ve come to accept that my process isn’t going to be pretty.
It’s sweaty, slow, and ridiculously hard. Sometimes, it feels like one failure after another.
Is it at those times that it reminds me of that abusive relationship in my 20’s? The one that came with little deceptive morsels of goodness sprinkled throughout, causing me to take 5 years to get the fuck out?
No, that can’t be.
Because these little morsels of goodness are the real deal. They confirm that I’m on the right path, and connect me to something greater — a relationship that helps me to be seen, acknowledged, accepted, validated…
Yes, when we’re in the process, it can feel like “riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable,” as Robin Williams so perfectly put it in the Birdcage. But when you choose to step into this business, you are — in fact — entering a relationship with it.
And you cannot do it alone — I’m 100% convinced.
You have to call for reinforcement.
For me, it’s my coaches, who help me see what’s really happening, and keep me in the game. The accountability buddy who sets me straight when I’m caving. And the cheerleaders who remind me that I’m awesome (even on days that I’m not.)
And if you don’t lose sight of the vision… of your beautiful dream…
If you can accept this whole one-step-at-a-time deal, and you’re willing to go through the ugly process…
If you understand that it is THIS process — showing up day-after-day to do the work, do the drills, do what it takes to build these muscles…
If you decide that looking back is not an option.
THEN you know you’ve got this.
What about you — what does your ugly process look like?
Why did you take this risk? Maybe you stay right where you are. It’s safe there.
But one question.
What’s at risk — what will you sacrifice — if you give up and let the process defeat you.
What’s at risk if you allow that little nagging voice in your head take over and convince you that you should just calm the fuck down and be like everyone else?
