He Hit You Because He Likes You
The building blocks of gendered violence
It is not hard for many to recall hearing the words “he hit you because he likes you.” Many have heard it in movies, television shows, and more than likely in one’s life at some point. This type of language reinforces violence against women. Violence against women will be endured in many ways in her life, whether it is physically, emotionally, or systematically. Violence against women in growing at an alarming rate 1 in every 3 women will be a victim of violence with an intimate partner. These statistics only get more sickening when looking into each subgroup of violence.
Women in America and all over the world face so many forms of violence and society reinforces that violence by teaching our women and men that it is “just the way it is.” Women are made into objects for only pleasure or to endure the frustrations of your partner. Not to mention women are constantly pitted against one another so at this point we have isolated women while they were young girls and it is time we break the cycle.
The cycle begins when a women is young, she is told that when a boy is interested in her he could possibly tease her or even hit her. It is also very common for girls to be taught at a young age that societal beauty standard are the ultimate goal and should be achieved at an cost. There is also this illusion that beauty is limited and another women’s beauty threatens hers. Women distance themselves from one another even accepting backhanded compliments like “you aren’t like other girls,” this seems like a compliment but it feeds into the system that pits women against one another and to devalue their feminine qualities and to strive for more “masculine” qualities as explained in Rachel Reynolds’ piece “You’re not like other girls! …Well maybe I want to be.”
On top of the burden of having to disassociation ones self with feminine qualities, women are are also subject to mass amounts of violence and sexual violence not only in America but all over the world. Women endure can unfortunately endure violence in the home with domestic violence. This system is reinforced through the old saying “he hit you because he likes you” or other various phrases or ridiculous assumptions that the women deserved it. Not only do women have the likelihood of enduring violence at home but it can also be enforced on a national level.
Women can endure the backlash of ignorance of politics such as having more restricting laws that interfere with getting full reproductive health coverage or reproductive health procedures in general. The current USA election is a prime example of the restrictions being put on women by men. It is getting more and more difficult to get the basic reproductive health attention needed whether that is an STD check, birth control, or an abortion. Also unfortunately with national ignorance can come wars that can be directly dangerous to women. Violence against women has been made private in the home and through various ignorant laws that allowed husbands for many years to abuse their wives; violence against women isn’t seen as a public affair.
During times of war, military retreat to horrendous sexual crimes against women. Many of these crimes involve sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and systematic rape. These occur to some women because of their involvement in politics and it also can happen when women have relations with a man who is seen as an enemy to the oppressor. Corrine Kumar explains that sexual violence allows men to be completely dominate. However, these crimes are often only seen as a problem to solely women. These crimes should be seen as human rights violations and not a gendered issue.
These acts of violence against women need to be seen as an issue that all need to help to elevate. Men, Women, Non-binary should all be working towards reversing these systems that reinforce the violence against women. Every one is suffering from the violence against women whether it is directly or indirectly. Women shouldn’t have to be opposed to one another and men should be able to able to admire and partake in feminine qualities instead of being funneled into the system that repeals femininity. We should work as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, human beings to teach children that you shouldn’t act out in violence if you like someone and it isn’t okay to endure this violence because if someone truly likes you they will be kind. We need to be uncomfortable and bring up the heinous crime of rape and explain this isn’t a women’s issue but a human rights issue. We can all take steps to help women and each other and it all starts with being uncomfortable but it will have a lasting important impact on many lives and the lives to come.
