My Sex Life is Immoral and Sinful According to the Church
The Church says I have to get married if I want pleasure by having sex.
Church or religion can have a direct power in our lives especially the Catholic religion. It strongly believes that women need to save their virginity until marriage and use practices to reinforce that rule on women especially. You have to do your sacraments which consist on baptism, confirmation, first communion, and another extra cultural celebration, the Quinceañera, then marriage. Boys also have to do their sacraments except for the quinceañera and they are not required to keep their virginity. If women lose their virginity, they are not considered pure anymore. Having sex with your love one is a sin, it is immoral, a scar for the rest of your life if people know you had sex before marriage. The church strictly prohibits couples living together and or having sexual freedom without being married by the church. You cannot participate in communion and other religious practices if you live in sin, according to the church.
Michel Foucault, a French philosopher, states in his book The History of Sexuality, that power goes around with non-dominant groups, “the father in the family is not the ‘representative’ of the sovereign…the family does not duplicate society, just as society does not imitate the family.” I think there is a linear approach that has the power just as the church has the power over its followers that then creates their own society. This society then falls into believing that the church is the only power that can purify them, liberate them from sin, and promises salvation. If the church says you are a sinner for having sex without being married, then you are a sinner and you should be a shame.
Woman are mainly the target, the one who will conserve the virginity and is not allowed to do this “sinful acts” of having sex. A quinceañera in my culture, is a traditional celebration on the 15th birthday of a young girl. Parents formally present their virgin daughter to the church and to society. Many years ago, this was a way of advertising their daughter for marriage as my mother and her ancestors explained. But it was important for the church to continue this virginity control that dictated a young girl’s future. If the young girl had sexual activity and was actually caught, she was unwanted by men, not a wife “product,” she was labeled with many names as you can imagine. Meanwhile, men had the privilege to choose women they considered were deserving of them. If men are having sex, that okay. It becomes a problem once they are living with their partner and they are not married. Hey! No wonder they just don’t want to live with their partners and just have sex without being married. They won’t be labeled by the church. If the bride wears a dress that is not white, forget it, it is the end of her reputation. “She wasn’t a virgin!” Because of this virginity or sexual oppression, “power,” from the church, women and couples are labeled.
I personally think, even though I am catholic, anyone’s sexual activity or losing their virginity should not be considered immoral. Expression of pleasure should not be considered a sinful act. Killing and making others suffer, I think is more of a sin than just having intercourse. Some governments and political acts commit crimes and other acts and they are not considered sinners and are not dehumanizes for their acts. Like Brenda Benites states, “If sex workers are deemed sinners for the requirements of their jobs, aren’t congress members sinners too?” in her Sex Workers and Congress Members: Nor Saints nor Whores article. A woman ran for congress, but she became a sex worker and because of her sexual activities, she is considered a sinner.
There is an article, More couples are living together before marriage. What’s the Church to do? Seriously, what should the church do, pay their rent? The church is forgiving their sinful act as long as the get married. Well, now there are less people getting married and I think that percentage will increase because people shouldn’t have to get married to have sex period.
Living with your significant other is also living in sin, according to the church. Sexual life is only allowed after God’s blessing which is marriage. Marriage to the church is for an eternity and only the church has the power to divorce or separate this unity. Wow! This means that in order for you to have sex with the person you love, you HAVE to get married. This pleasure will cost you a lifetime commitment. What do you do if you get married and you don’t like the sex with the person you married and thought it would be satisfactory? Now you are stuck with this person? Why does the church encourage humiliation, degradation, and to dehumanize someone because of their sexual activities? It might not be such a scandal to society today, but the church will still consider you a sinner.
In Planned Parenthood: Defend it, Don’t Defund it written by Disa Pimentel, states that Donald Trump’s supporters defend the idea of only having sex between a married couple. They don’t support sexual activities out of the marriage. Parenthood supports everyone even if not married. This sexual oppression is going too far.
Foucault also said, “Power is essentially what dictate’s its law to sex… rejection, exclusion, refusal, blockage, concealment… where sex and pleasure are concerned, power can do nothing but say no to them.” Having sexual freedom and losing your virginity should not be a sin and should not be a shame to society because the church says it. The church’s power is what harms people for loving others and themselves.
