Redefining “You ___ Like a Girl!”
The next time someone says “You ___ like a girl” respond with “fuck yea I do!” It is time we redefine the meaning of being a woman. Let’s reconstruct the phrase that is taken as an insult and transform it into a compliment.
We have been socialized to believe that doing something like a woman is insulting. This stigma that to be a man is greater than to be a woman must to end. Why must being a woman, and doing things “like a woman” need to have such a negative connotation? Are women that different from a man? Truth is, we aren’t. So, let’s put an end to the patriarchy without feeling like we need to start a matriarchy. I aim for gender equality, not power over the opposite sex. Where did this separation of what each gender is and is not come from? When did we decide that whatever a man is not, then automatically that is what a woman is. Who decided what a man is? So many questions to try to decipher how this separation began, yet even if we had the answers, would we know why people decided to accept them instead of arguing against? Perhaps not. So instead, I’d like to discuss an action that has already started to be taken to redefine what it is do act as a woman, and how this will deconstruct our norms and create anew.
If I have a daughter of my own, I want her to be a badass; the type of badass that owns all that she is. I want her to own her femininity AND her masculinity. I want her to know that she does not have to pick between being a girly girl or a tomboy. If she wants to wear a ton of make-up but also be a boxer, then I want her to be both without doubting that she is capable of it. We have been taught that we must have one identity. Well, my response to you placing me in an inescapable box is fuck you. I will be everything if that is what I choose to be. My being a female does not mean I am incapable of doing things that are typically known as a man’s job. No longer will I allow your opinions to steer me away from my wants. But how do we accomplish this? It starts one person at a time, until it becomes an epidemic to be the amazing and versatile people we can all be. We must begin by teaching our youth, if we can get the youth to start believing in new ideas, they will eventually teach the next generations as well.
In Joan W. Scotts, Deconstructing Equality-versus-Difference, I came across several points that explain how we have constructed today’s norms. The following is what I feel is one of the most important aspects to the construction of our daily thoughts.
Without attention to language and the processes by which meanings and categories are constituted, one only imposes oversimplified models on the world, models that perpetuate conventional understandings rather than open up new interpretive possibilities
It is too often that we lack the ability or rather the acknowledgement that some opinions and ideas need to be questioned. We have become so accustomed to believe everything we are told and socialized into, that we reject the possibility of a more sensible idea. Typically, those rejecting such ideas are those who refuse to see the knowledge behind such. So, to reconstruct. We must learn to understand where the opposing opinion is coming from. Why do they have these views? Do I agree or disagree? However, when deciding if we agree or disagree with the idea being challenged, we must agree or disagree with reason, not violence or superiority over those attempting to prove a point. Similarly, we must consider our own language. Does our language support the point we are trying to make? Once we begin to take our language into account, we can begin some sort of change.
I have seen a handful of videos that show exactly how we can begin to change our language and begin to deconstruct the limitations society believes women have. Again, we must first begin individually/ one person at a time, then gradually more people will join in this transformation of ideas.
