The Power of Choosing Myself in Love

How I found strength and self-love after family estrangement

Source

My uncle passed away some time ago, surrounded by family. It must have been a comfort to feel their presence, their goodwill.

I’m not close to my family members. It wasn’t by choice but rather by circumstance. I am a divorcee of Indian origin, from a conservative Syro-Malabar Christian family, and I happen to be the only one who dared take action against my unhappy marriage in my entire extended family (think hundreds of members).

People say being divorced is no big deal, considering the high rates in the US. Emphasis on the US. And yet, I don’t mix with others in my community here because it feels too awkward.

I’ve noticed they don’t know whether to show sympathy, pity, or contempt when they hear I’m divorced. They can’t treat me as a normal person living her best life because that itself is suspect. How can a woman without a husband be happy, unless she’s one of those with no morals?

The irony is that a couple of married men made passes at me, and after that, I stopped socializing with my community for good.

I have a circle of American friends who are non-judgmental and open-minded. Still, what I miss is family, especially during a crisis or a holiday…