The Booger Ted Cruz Ate During a 2016 Primary Debate Was Actually a Brain Parasite.
Specialists warn it may still be contagious.
During the 11th GOP Primary Debate on March 3rd, 2016, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) became the source of joyful laughter across the nation when he ate what many thought to be a booger on live television. Now, experts are saying what appeared to be a booger was really a dangerous brain parasite: Trumpoplasmosis magai.
According to Johns Hopkins microbiologist Dr. Paul Kroogman, who recently analyzed a sample of Senator Cruz’s fecal matter he pilfered from a Houston Chick-fil-A, Trumpoplasmosis magai is similar to the more familiar Toxoplasmosis gondii parasite known to infect house cats, rodents and humans, causing the latter two—especially human women—to overproduce the neurotransmitter oxytocin (the “love hormone”) in the presence of cats, thus aiding the parasite’s life-cycle.
Trumpoplasmosis magai, however, seems to be more prevalent in men and stimulates the release of oxytocin only in the presence of trite symbols of national identity and members of the Trump family.
“It is precisely as contagious as COVID-19,” said Dr. Kroogman. “It appears to have been slowly infecting the Republican caucus since late-spring 2016. Senator Cruz appears to be a key…
