I too had stage fright
When I was in 3rd standard in school I went on the stage for the first time. It was an essay competition. I had the essay written down on a paper. In case reading through the paper was not allowed my mom had helped me remember the lines the night before.
I went on stage. I spoke a few words and then went silent. I still had the paper in my hands. The teacher standing near me told me in a low voice “You can read through the paper”. I did not. After a minute of silence the teacher took me off the stage.
I had the paper. I remembered the lines. But so many people looking at me was a first time experience for me. Was I frightened? No. I like to think so. But for the next 10 years in school I never went on stage for speaking.
As a kid I was irritable. Someone teased me and I got angry. Irrespective of whether they were right or wrong. My mom explained to me that the only reason they are doing this is because I am easy to anger. If I stop reacting they will stop teasing me. I never understood that till later in life.
My father always says “You should listen to everyone and after that you should do what you want”. I never understood that either till later in life.
At some point during my college I actually understood what my parents had been trying to tell me. I opened up paint brush in my laptop and created the below image which has been with me ever since.
A different version of what my mom and dad explained to me. In words that are easy for me to understand.
On the first day of my new company I was nervous as hell. The HR person who was doing the formalities was asking me questions for filling in some forms. I was stuttering. I dropped my pen. She offered me a glass of water and told me that everything is ok. The interview was over months ago. I still did not have a shred of confidence.
After a few days working there I saw a culture where anyone can speak their mind. Did I speak my mind? Not in the beginning.
I kept silent many times. I had things in my mind. One day I asked one simple question. Next time I tried a few more. Good people who encouraged discussion did help me out there.
Rather than random chit-chat which I cannot do with random people I like being on a topic. Something that I know about. Questions are easy to ask. So I kept on asking questions. Few more every time.
Every week it was a small amount of change. I was not doing anything special or difficult. Speaking one sentence is not difficult. Adding one more sentence every few weeks is not difficult.
Day by day nothing really changed. But when I look back everything changed.
After being there for 3 years I am confident enough to speak in front of more than 100 people. I recently spoke at a conference and did not get nervous.
What did I learn?
People tease you because it is fun for many people. If you don’t giving a damn they won’t give either. Some may not stop. It doesn’t matter.
Life happens one step at a time. Take it slow and steady. Take it one step at a time. Do a bit more every time. And if you are feeling overwhelmed? Pause. Recover. Continue.
Don’t give up.
