Relations that matter — The tonic for a good life.
It always intrigues me to see people meet and greet each other for any purpose. The occasion can be few relatives gathering for a happy or sad moment. A birth of a child, the tying of the knot, the lady conceiving, a festival, a child writing its first letters of any language, a marriage anniversary, a milestone birthday, a child’s birthday or to celebrate a work promotion with family, an engagement, a relative’s return back home, the start of a new year, and so on. These are the happy moments where we gather as a community. We have the passing away of a dear one, a major injury or mishap, an illness, an accident, some kind of misfortune, a natural calamity, an unexpected event, and so on. These count as the sad occasions in our lives where we meet each other.
When I delve into what motivates one to connect with one another, I find it quite interesting to understand the undercurrents from a family and friends context, and from a work context. As a family, one is used to seeing each other from our childhood days. As one grows up and experiences life with its ups and downs, it is comforting to meet someone you are familiar with since one’s childhood. The meeting leads you to recollect fond memories of being with one’s parents — those carefree days — when small matters brought you great joy, when there was no reason to just smile and enjoy oneself. In the workplace, it is about advancing a team purpose through different types of meetings, it is about catching up with a colleague over a cup of coffee on their latest and greatest in their lives or what they have learnt from a vacation, it is about the learning that happens in a classroom training, it is about networking, it may be as simple as getting focused work done or simply the speed of collaborating with one another, and the need to build trust.
When I analyze the impact of these interactions on oneself, I find few interesting observations that seem trivial on the surface but has deep impressions within. These interactions prove one is valuable to others, useful in some measure to others, gives a sense of purpose in life, validates one’s self worth, or shows one matters. Also, it demonstrate achievement of a common purpose, a purpose larger than oneself.
Although I may sound optimistic in my outlook, I am not blind to the superficialness around me in relations that one encounters in our daily lives. In many spheres including the family and friends’ setting and the work setting, the interactions have become more transactional rather that relational or relationship-based. Lack of time, selfish thinking, greediness, impatience, disregard, superiority complex, insecurity, an inflated sense of importance or a combination of the above are reasons for the discord increasingly prevalent in our lives. Sometimes, we feel many of our family, friends and colleagues exist just to see what benefit they get by interacting with you. If there is benefit, we are friends. If not, we become strangers. We are completely destroying the fabric of a family and thereby society by such hallow conversations and behaviors. It is essential to revert to some form of sanity for our collective wellbeing.
Is all hope lost in our relations with family, friends and colleagues if we are struggling in this area? From my readings and observing different cultures, I am given to understand that one needs to restore one missing fundamental element in one’s life. Give unconditional love. I am not claiming any expertise or mastery over this sphere. It can be practiced and lived by one having a large heart that manifests only after living a very focused and disciplined life. From what I have recently put into practice and as a consequence, achieved few incremental benefits, I would like to invite you to experiment with this idea of giving unconditional love to a person in some difficult sphere of your life. Taking a simple step is not easy but it is essential for one to improve the quality of your life. It is a simple tonic for maintaining a dignity in our relations in life but a very effective one. One can potentially regain interest in life, start believing people after broken promises, restore hope in relationships or simply give a fresh perspective in life.
It goes without saying that one needs company at some times. While olden times seem a thing of the past and transactional interactions have become commonplace, the ray of hope in our lives is to give unconditional love as much as possible in our relations. We are human and may not be consistent in maintaining such a demeanor consistently, but that’s what makes us human! Practicing unconditional love can become an experiment to regain our faith in humanity and to restore sanity in our lives. Come, let’s start giving love unconditionally as much as possible as long as possible and help improve the quality of our lives! It costs nothing to try this approach to life. Here’s wishing you the best in dealing with your difficult sphere(s) in your lives!
