Different communication styles
(and how to make them work for you)
Have you ever wondered why “that” conversation with somebody didn’t quite work out as you expected? Ever felt that you’d been communicating slightly different things? Ever come away from a conversation feeling strangely dissatisfied?
Well, that’s happened to me a lot, and I’ve always tried to understand why it happened, and what it was about myself and the person I spoke to that caused the miscommunication.
There are many models that can help explain and make the interactions better but the one I’ve found most useful is the DISC model. What this model gives you is a way of not only recognising your own preferred way of communicating, but also the ability to recognise the other person’s style, along with hints as to what to do/not to do to get the best out of any interaction.
The model identifies four different styles, each identified by a letter (D, I, S & C)*. The full analysis of your style requires a (paid-for) questionnaire, but using the summary information below you can usually make a good guess as to your and others’ predominant style. It’s worth saying at this point that people tend to have a dominant style but they can be a mix; none of this is ever black and white.
How to recognise the styles
They’ll need to expend more energy to…
(This doesn’t mean they can’t do these things, it will just take more effort)
How to communicate with the different styles
So next time, before you have that conversation, pause and try to identify the communication style of the person you’re going to be talking to, and how that matches your style. Try to identify something that you can do differently that might make the outcome more satisfactory.
*these stand for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness, but using these names rather than focusing on the characteristics of each communication style can hinder understanding — I’ve found this model more useful if I think about the characteristics of each style rather than fixating on these names.
