On kindness and entrepreneurship

One of the first things I wrote when our project, INITIATE, was conceived, was a very simple slogan.

Seeking a kinder, more inclusive entrepreneurship experience.

In some ways, it was the easiest thing I’ve written for the project so far. It came effortlessly, and encapsulated the heart of our message. And yet, as I came to learn, it can also be interpreted in different ways — some deeply counter to our goals. In order to understand and address that feedback, I had to return to that slogan, and to our core principles and test them once more against new perspectives. Could kindness be construed as a bad thing?

Injecting kindness in entrepreneurship (the “why?”)

I’m a big proponent of the Dalai Lama’s philosophy, “my religion is kindness.” As I’ve discussed before, one of the reasons I was originally dismissive of conversations around entrepreneurship is the way in which is seems — from the outside — to be a deeply unkind environment. Unpacking what that meant led to our mission to challenge three myths of entrepreneurship: that success is a zero-sum game, that it’s all about the money, and that the traits necessary for achievement are inborn into a select group of people.

The more I became engaged in the business world, the more I realized how misleading these myths can be, and that for every cut-throat business maven, there is a social entrepreneur working on a new B Corp or a successful founder devoting time and energy to mentorship. The primary goal of INITIATE is to highlight the work of the people who challenge the pernicious stereotypes, and to support the many others at the very beginning of their journey.

INITIATE is about exposing the vulnerability inherent in business creation and self-employment, and celebrating that vulnerability within a framework of support, encouragement, and mentorship.

Diversity and inclusion (“the who?”)

As we set out to pursue this goal, it was clear that the stereotypes and the dominant culture of entrepreneurship affect some people more than others. It’s not that white, cis-gendered, heterosexual men face no risks when they start their own businesses — it’s a tremendously challenging endeavor even with every cultural advantage working for you. For those who take the leap and find themselves the minority in every room — from seeking investment, to partnership, and to mentorship — the micro-aggressions pile up quickly. Gender bias, exclusivity in networks and partnerships, racism, and sexism can make a difficult job heartbreakingly arduous.

And so, in addition to being a project centered on encouraging better modes of entrepreneurship, INITIATE embraces inclusion and diversity as its primary avenues for achieving our goals.

I believe that diversity and inclusion are essential for the health of all businesses, and that the best way to contribute to that endeavor is to inject a hearty dose of kindness into conversations around entrepreneurship.

Against kindness?

In the months since INITIATE came to be, I have discovered a fascinating counter-argument against our core, stated tenet of kindness. This interpretation reads kindness as an act of condescension; a “dumbing-down” of ideas and processes, as if there is some innate deficiency in our audience that we hope to rectify. This connotation of “kindness” is such an inversion of its intended meaning that I have struggled with how to address it for quite some time.

About a week ago, I read Sharon Salzberg’s column for On Being called “A New Vision of Kindess Starts with Paying Attention.” In it, she describes how being “kind” or “nice” frequently means being bland or uninteresting.

“…I was never taught to believe that kindness could coexist with adventure, risk, intelligence. Kindness was more often associated with meekness, boringness, being forgetful.”

What an “a-ha” moment for me: risk, adventure, and intelligence are very much at the core of entrepreneurship, and always will be. To bring kindness to the practice does not mean that these qualities must be leeched out of it! Only a culture that has forgotten the true virtues of kindness could twist its meaning to reduce it to a milquetoast beneficence, a saccharine emotion equivalent to the color beige.

Salzberg goes on to refute this definition:

We can see that kindness isn’t about just being “nice” or polite, but about a sense of ethics, and a fundamentally shared experience, that need not be related to a religious belief system.

To bring kindness into conversations around entrepreneurship means eliminating a manipulative mindset that prioritizes self over others, and preaches scarcity over abundance. Kindness allows us to get curious about the challenges facing us, and to show our support for others without feeling diminished by doing so. It’s not that we don’t believe that women or minorities *can’t* succeed by the usual means. Instead, we see them *choosing not to,* in favor of something more human, more whole. And we want to support them every step of the way.

Success does not mean becoming hardened by challenges and impervious to intimidation. True success comes from softening, in becoming more resilient, and more curious about the hardships you face.

Kindness as emotional intelligence

Although it can be miscast as simplistic and boring, there is real strength and power in true kindness. It is the choice not to lash out in moments of unbearable pressure; the display of compassion in the face of wrong-doing and failure. It is muscular, hard-won, and forged in deep self-awareness. In my experience, kindness is by far the more difficult choice in many situations. But when present, it faciliates community-building, opening a space for sharing hard truths and a willingness to shift perspectives when new evidence is presented.

How does that work in practice? How can we inject more kindness into the process of founding a new business? That is the wisdom we seek at INITIATE — it’s already out there, and we’re on a mission to showcase it wherever we can. Tell us your stories of kindness in entrepreneurship, and help us change the conversation.

This article was written as part of INITIATE, a project sponsored by CoshX Labs to find new ways to explore business and entrepreneurship. You can follow us on Twitter, and visit our website to learn more about our efforts.