How Writing Can Help Us Embrace Imperfection
Finding acceptance, joy, and creativity in our imperfect words
I am not ashamed to admit that I am that structured, detail-oriented, type A kind of person that just has to plan out every possible scenario and get everything right. And because of this, I’ve struggled with perfectionism for most of my life.
But my battles with severe mental health challenges the past two years or so have forced me to unlearn these perfectionist habits because at the root of it, it was situations wherein I had a lack or loss of control that had exacerbated my anxiety, to the point of debilitation.
One of the coping mechanisms that helped me manage my anxiety was the act of writing. I’ve experienced first-hand the power of the written word, and want to share what I’ve learned (and continue to learn) about how writing has helped me “loosen my grip” when it comes to crafting the perfect essay or story, which resulted in a second-order impact on my mental well-being.
Here, I explore the connection between writing, perfectionism, and mental health, and offer support to help writers embrace imperfection and find joy in the creative process.
There’s no such thing as a perfect story
We are all humans with our own subjective tastes; therefore, it is impossible for a perfect story to exist given our existing biases. So, there’s really no point in obsessing over every little detail and getting stuck in analysis-paralysis.
That said, of course one has to pay attention to proper spelling, grammar, syntax, punctuation, formatting, etc. These are table-stakes for any writer. But beyond all these, for the content of the story itself, there’s no single right way to craft it.
So, take this opportunity to experiment and follow your gut when it comes to your creative self-expression. Let go of your preconceived notions of what a “good story” is supposed to read like. When you relieve yourself of the pressure to perform, you’ll soon realize that the words will start to flow more naturally, and your creativity will be unleashed.
Your mental health will thank you for it.
Publishing — it’s out of our hands
Another aspect of writing that contributes to anxiety is the need for external validation.
While there are writers who write in their personal journals, with their musings never to see the light of day, a great majority of writers aim to publish and share their writing with a broader audience.
And because of the expectation that other people will be reading their pieces, they put undue pressure on themselves to make the piece as good as possible, even tailoring it to the tastes of their readers, with the assumption that the writers’ hard work will be reciprocated with adoration and recognition.
But that’s not always the case.
When you put out your writing for the world to read — whether that’s through posting on your own blog, submitting to literary journals or magazines, or publishing a book — you no longer have control over how your story is received. Some will like it; others won’t. That’s the reality of it.
If you home in on every single publication rejection or negative review or trolling comment, you are certainly not doing your mental health any favors. In my case, it took some time, but I eventually learned to not take these rejections personally and focus on things that I can control instead.
Focus on the journey, not the destination
Our mantra in writing (and in life) should be: Progress over perfection.
Most writers have ambitions when it comes to their writing craft — be it becoming a best-selling author, or publishing X number of books, or gaining X number of followers or email subscribers. And goals are good. They give us a destination to row towards, instead of aimlessly paddling, hoping to reach shore somewhere, sometime.
However, if we focus way too much on the destination, a potential occurrence in the future, we lose sight of the present and are unable to do our best work because we’re far too hung up on a goal that’s not fully within our control.
I am well aware that this advice is cliché, but I still believe it bears repeating. It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.
Instead of perfecting that one novel for years until you believe it is your magnum opus, your ticket to publishing success, try focusing on writing and publishing more often instead. They may be flawed, but you learn a bit more about the process and yourself every single time.
(Plus, any novel, no matter how unpopular, would’ve been read by at least one reader that would fall in love with your words and become a lifelong fan.)
Remember, each piece of writing is a labor of love that takes time, energy, and commitment. Perfection is but a fever dream. So, while you’re out there writing, you might as well find joy in the process. If you’re too caught up in perfection and ambition, you’re doing a great disservice to the potential of your words.
You and your words deserve better than that.
