Comedy of errors (also warnings and bugs) — A comical play

LEGEND : A is the anger. H is the happiness. V is the voice of the human that is projected outward.

( Both A and H enter talking, unaware of the stage and people around)

A : How dare he do this to me ? All year I worked hard and finally this ? I am going to beeeeep him

H : Relax dude! Its not the first time its happening with us. Every year its the same old drama and every year you crib. Just let it go.

(A looks around suddenly, aware of the audience)

A : Hey ! Where are we ? and wheres the party you promised ? Who are all these people staring at us ?

H : Look, I knew you wouldn’t come to a talk show. We are here to tell our story.

A : Whaaaaat ???? Are we exposed ? I knew this would happen.

H: Come on ! We are not being arrested. These are friendly people.

A: Whatever. I am not impressed.

(Intro to the audience)

V : Ladies and gentlemen. Today we have called this meeting to ….

A : YOUUU called this meeting ? I knew it.

V : Ladies and gentlemen, today we are here to present our story. You have never seen us, but you know us well. Guys, we are the emotions that form you. We are ANGER, HAPPINESS and the Buddha, in a jeans. A special round of applause for Anger (He might just go mad)

(A looks at B in anger )

V : We are THE PRODIGAL IDIOTS, (Looking at the other 2) because lets face it, we are emotions inside a programmer, an organism that converts coffee to code.

A: Tell them the problem already. You are wasting my time with these bunch of goof ups.

H : If you promise to be quiet, I ll treat you to your favourite choco-lava, the anger flavor.

A: Look at him sleeping and dreaming of owning a Ferrari. Poor fellow, cant even buy the steering wheel now.

H : We are going to show you typical moments in the life of the prodigal idiot. Its an extra ordinary day, filled with bugs, babies and bounty’s (, or so they think.)

(Scene 1 — Idiot with his manager )

V : A manager is a very special person.He can bless you with rating and salary, or as in his case with peanut gallery.

A: He could have at least given good rating ? You know what he says? Work is not enough. You need to be proactive.

H : Hey here comes our Boss. Pretend to be happy. Inner peace.

A : Look at him. Doesn’t even know to wear a tie. How did he even become a boss ?

V : Good morning Sir. You look amazing today. Any special occasion?

A : Your wife treating you well ?

H : Shhh.

V : Sir, I fixed all those defects assigned me. I even wrote the documentation you know.

A : Shove it on his face. Shove it on his face right now !

H : He seems happy with my work. I should about that onsite now. May be I will go to Germany. Ferrari is not far away.

A : Ferrari my donkey. He hasn’t sent you to your hometown in a year, and you talk about Germany. Y

H : Man ! I should have known it better. We solved the bugs many and Rahul went to Ger-many. Rahul ! of all the people.

A : I say lets go to his house this very instant and show him how we kill bugs. He should have been removed during compile time itself .

H : Lets park this issue for a while and go have some fun.

A : Fun ? Him ? The only fun he knows is a fun-ction. BTW Did you forget who are meeting tomorrow ?

H : Ah ! Neha. She is like the perfect piece of code ever written. God must be the real programmer. That formatted structure. That flowing locks. She has inherited it well. Do you think she work in our environment. I would like to import her into our life.

A : Grr ! Don’t you know she is written in another language ? She would be difficult to run. I also hear she consumes a lot of resources. Expensive I say.

(Scene 2 — The idiot is gonna meet Neha)

V : Neha, the dream girl of every software developer. A dream that stays a dream in most cases, but nevertheless a dream that inspires them to do more.

H : Finally ! I cannot believe she agreed to meet us. I might die of excitement.

A : Tone down man. I will be really pissed if you keep drooling like this in front of her. This is our one chance.

H : Fine but Lets do a last minute check. Hair ?

A : Check

H : Perfume

A : Check

H : Goggles.

A : Check

H : Iphone

A : Check. Wait What ? Why Iphone ?

H : That is to look rich. I wanted to take the Ipad as well, couldn’t fit in my pocket.

A : (Angry look towards H)

H : Why is she late ? My heart is already faster than the code i wrote.

A : OK here she comes. Inner peace. Inner peace.

A : Woaaa. Dude ! look at her. She is like an iphone and we are what , a blackberry ? I don’t think i can go through this

H : Relax. If you are brave enough to run internet explorer, all else is well.

A : Dude, I think she is gonna throw a null pointer at us.

V : Hey Neha !! How are you ? I hope the traffic wasn’t bad ? Especially with the Bangalore rains right?

A : What is he doing man ? Asking about the weather and traffic. who’s he? her father ?

V : Why don’t you sit down Neha, while I get you some coffee and cake? I hope you aren’t like those girls who are sugar freaks, always drinking green tea.

A: oh boy ! here we go. She looks pissed. Change of plan. Restroom.

H : Dude ! No. Finish what you came for.

V : ummm Neha. Actually, basically, you know, I wrote something for you.

V : In the website of my world, You are the homepage. Since the day i saw you, my heart is in an infinite loop. My life is an uncompiled program. You are fully stored in my memory. Will you go out for a cup of Java.. eh coffee ?

A and H totally blank

A : what …. just …. happened ?

H : I don’t know man. What did he just utter ?

A : I think he blew it.

H : I only see one option in front of me now.

A : I guess you are right. Only one thing to do now.