Why I Won’t Date: Part I (Unraveling the Expectations of Others)

From the words of a hopeful romantic.

Find the rest here: Part 2; Part 3

Photo by Crew on Unsplash

Eye roll: I am too open sometimes. Too hopeful. Too idealistic.

I’ve been hesitant to post dating pieces for a long time. I always cringe when I think about writing about my experiences — because sometimes writing about the twisted and uncomfortable — even the bliss-filled and orgasmic, is awkward. The highs and the lows exist in every aspect of life. In dating, the highs seem to keep me going — and the lows, well they make me want to delete and do over — quickly.

Up until I was 30, I never dated.

I mean, I had boyfriends, and even a girlfriend once. I experienced both long and short-term relationships for almost a decade. But dating never happened.

I didn’t know how to date until I was over 30. And while I began to go on “dates” with people I barely knew, planning coffee or dinner meetings, walks or glasses of wine, I still felt like a novice clumsily hiking an unexplored terrain.

The word dating made me shudder.

For over a decade of my life, instead of dating, I developed friendships. I remember learning in an undergraduate social…