Curry thoughts
Wise men have always quoted great sentences filled with virtues and vices. I often watch movies, read books, listen to podcasts and try understanding the art of living life and experiencing the joy that people talk about. Cinema and books have come closer to reality; they are not just limited to a world we all want to live in but a window to your lives- that’s the type of content you call relatable. I have read numerous essays on life of an indian teenager with overbearing parents but till date I couldn’t really be content. I always tried to weave my story differently so that it fit with the crowd- conformity. I often keep saying “hate” a strong word and emotion to be felt for anyone but more than often I feel that emotion for my parents. All my therapists who have come to my rescue said try knowing their life and then understand the reason behind their actions.
I made an honest attempt at that. The result- they did everything they wanted to yet they stopped me from doing the same. My father talks about the hardships he faced as a child and various adventures he had. But he has never ever let me have a life of freedom where I can travel to places I want. We often have these conversations where he talks about these brave friends who would walk to the graveyards at night and later question us if we are capable of the same to this i would question back have you ever let us . Everyday I’m expected to be home by 7 no matter what. Coming home at a designated time has always been more important than education too.
My mother always wanted to study but today she stands between me and my goals. Initially the struggle was trying to explain to them that my dreams are not the same as theirs. Nowadays it’s me trying to constantly explain to them that my career path isn’t smooth . So now they try and convince me to look for a path which is easy and comfortable.
They talk about respecting women but their misogynist comments are always echoing in my house. From typecasting gender roles to bargaining freedom of expression. They have always judged people based on their clothing and yet they call themselves progressive for sending my brother and I to the same school.
I have been fighting for my rights since the day I understood how my brother was favoured over me. How every freedom was granted with terms and conditions apply. Some days it gets very difficult trying to respect them but then this respect is deeply ingrained inside me. However hard I try, it’s very difficult to defy them. The guilt of wronging them eats me up completely. With age i realised the opportunities I’m missing because they wouldn’t approve of my plans. Competitions i did not participate , trips i wasn’t part of, events i did not organise but most importantly friends i lost.
Today I’m nineteen and everyday I get closer to the day when the opportunities would stop knocking on my door. This realization encouraged me to take that calculated risk and forget about the guilt as this is my life and no one is going to live it for me or defend me at my failures because i lived in a bubble so that i didn’t enrage those parents who just created hurdles so that they could keep their child wrapped safely in a coven. You came alone and your grand exit will also be alone therefore make that exit count. Fight for your life and live life and gain the complete holistic experience.
