9 First Dates So Bad You Wished You’d Stayed At Home

Greta Noca
Feb 10 · 6 min read

Valentine’s Day, best known to the world as the official celebratory event of love and romance, for some of us, hasn’t always been that romantic. If you’re one of the lucky ones, dating can be a funny and interesting process which opens the door into the world of happy, lasting and successful relationships.

If you’re not so lucky, however, dating can be one of the weirdest things you’ll ever have the chance to experience. Living in a big city, working a lot and not having so much free time can lead us to the infinite and various world of dating apps or maybe to the wrong friend of a friend.

Here are 9 weird (and hilarious) first-date stories that didn’t have a happy ending.

  1. “Pet-ting”

I matched with a guy whose Tinder profile picture was of him holding a cat. I told him I was allergic to cats and we hit it off. We planned our first date and eventually met in a tiny cafe. He showed up with his cat on a leash (getting weird here), while casually mentioning that his friend was also allergic to cats — but not to his. He wanted to test if we really matched. The date ended after 5 minutes because I started feeling… allergic.

— A. L., Berlin

2. “This girl is on fire…literally”

I went out on a Saturday night and met a girl. After a week, we went out for dinner and revisited the place we first met and had a couple of drinks. We were having a good time dancing and in a bold move to impress her, I dipped her. There were candles on the table next to us and I didn’t realise that her hair had caught on fire until it was too late. The smell of her burning hair was horrendous! She’s still a good friend till this day but she says she would never dance with me again.

— D., Milan

3. “Ain’t nobody got time for that”

I met someone on a dating app and we finally got the chance to (spontaneously) meet. He was coming from a friend’s house and would pick me up with a taxi so we could go to our date location. On our way there, he realised he had lost his wallet and suggested we could stop at his house to grab some cash. When we got there, he realised he had lost his keys too! So he was locked out, had no money and the taximeter was running. I had 40€ in cash with me which was not even enough to pay the taxi driver but he accepted it anyway. Long story short: no first date and no second date (because he never paid me back for his share of the taxi fare!). If only we could have paid for that taxi with an app… ;)

—G. M., Barcelona

4. “Wrong date, wrong girl”

I was going to meet this girl I’ve been chatting with for the first time and we agreed to meet in front of a busy metro station. When I arrived, it was pretty dark but I spotted her there — or so I thought. I approached her and we started talking about where to go from there, and only about 10 minutes later, we realised: we were on the wrong date! Apparently, many people decide to meet their blind dates at the same metro station and coincidentally, neither of us can see well in the dark. And the worse part of it all: my real date was right there, observing the whole thing for a while, but decided to leave after she saw me and my “new date” hit it off.

— P. B., London

5. “Pay me what you owe me”

I had a date with a guy that contacted me on Instagram. We agreed on having dinner on Valentine’s day because we thought it would have potentially been a funny anniversary date. It went well but not well enough for a second date. He still insisted on paying the bill. After a few days, he asked me out for a second time and I politely said no. He replied with his bank account number and the digits “27.50”. That was the amount he paid on our first date and he wanted it back.

— S., Rome

6. “I am not a hugger”

Went on a first date with a guy who tried to hug me at the end and I was NOT feeling it, so I went to shake his hand but realised how awkward that actually was. So I decided to give him a fist bump instead. Not awkward at all. 🙈

— A.M, Dublin

7. “Heart time”

This guy and I were meeting for the first time and in the middle of dinner he thought he was having a heart attack. He seemed to be struggling with chest pains, so I dropped everything and called an ambulance. We got checked in the hospital and he wouldn’t stop repeating, “I think I’m going to die”.

About 4 hours later, when they finished all the tests, they concluded that there was no heart attack — he was just having a very bad hangover!

— J.S, Warsaw

8. “I happen to like bunkers”

I matched with this guy on Tinder and he told me that there is a bunker right next to my house. I happen to like bunkers, so he offered to show it to me. We met up but he wasn’t alone: “this is my sister, this is my mom and this is my my best friend. They are also big fans of bunkers”. This was definitely the fastest I was ever introduced to a date’s family and friends: on the first minute of the very first date!

— J. M., Hamburg

9. “Well…I’m out”

My friends told me about a girl that would match perfectly with me. I thought to myself, “if I get her, she’s a catch”. After long talks, we managed to set a date at a restaurant. She told me that she’s not into romantic dates, so it would be great to bring friends along. I found it a little odd, but what could possibly go wrong? My work colleague and I arrived earlier, and we chose seats from where we couldn’t see the entrance. They finally arrive and I swear I felt my soul leave my body. My date’s friend was my ex-girlfriend.

— A.C., Bucharest

3 things we learned from these bad dates: stay away from fire, bring enough cash with you and don’t date weird strangers. Since we all know this is not going to happen, cheers to the ones who had or will soon have a bad funny first-date.

Stuck in a bad date? We got you covered! Share your funny date story with us on Instagram and we’ll send you a taxi voucher — just in case you need a ride out of a bad date this Valentine’s Day.

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Greta Noca

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