In My Country, Love Rules
Life in Ellebeaudia
I don’t like living in the USA anymore. It used to be a place that I was proud of and enjoyed, but over the last couple of years, I’ve left and retreated to the sanctuary of my own little country, Ellebeaudia — a much nicer place to live. We have a very liberal immigration policy here. All you need to do in order to cross the border is to exhibit kindness and love towards others, be friendly and caring, and in general have a good time, whatever that means for you (as long as it’s not hurting anyone else).
In Ellebeaudia, everyone is fed and housed. Not even a dog goes hungry. Even problem dogs who bite up the woodwork when they are anxious receive loving care, (as well as a nice new crate and a prescription for Xanax). We understand here that this anxiety comes from too many years on the streets with no love and not enough to eat, and we take that into consideration. We’re very compassionate here; particularly to children and animals.
In Ellebeaudia we like to celebrate, but rather than wasting money on fireworks and parades for special occasions, we celebrate everyday life with tasty spreads whipped up by James, Director of The Department of Drinks and Eats. When I recently mentioned that there was nothing good to sip on in the vicinity, he whipped up a watermelon, pineapple daiquiri that is quite refreshing and…
