The Instructor Who Told Me I Was A “Taker”
He wanted to put me in my place, but I found my inner strength instead
Several years ago I got into a kerfuffle with an instructor in a course I was taking to learn more about a specific healing tradition. In the face of that, the tactic he used to drive me out of the course was to announce to everyone present that I was a “taker.” After all, isn’t that one of the worst things that a woman can be in a society that expects her to create her identity and value based largely on how much she can give to others?
Never mind that most conscientious mothers err greatly on the side of giving too much at their own expense; never mind that mothers of special needs children (as I am) typically do that in spades. It was calculated to hurt, to bring me to my knees, and to get me back under his control. Instead, it taught me how to truly stand for myself in a whole new way.
Over the course of the first year of study of what was supposed to be a four-year program, I had been increasingly disturbed by the way that this guy seemed to be focused on getting us, his students, to trust him, rather than to primarily learn to trust ourselves. The man who trained me as a life coach several years before was adamant that we learn to trust ourselves, and he fostered that idea in the way that he…
