How to make a useless mobile app?

Do not take into account the needs of your visitors.

Needs, always needs … Finally, it is very consumerist like vision of the mobile app.

Do not have a target audience.

Because it’s defeatist. As if your app couldn’t please everyone.

Do it just to show off.

With numerous but not really useful features; do it for the beauty of the gesture. We promise, you will have the most bling app of the cultural sector.

Create this app just for you.

It is not because you already know everything on the subject that you can’t have your very own mediation device. You deserve it, right?

Say a lot (too much).

You could include both a thesis and the encyclopedia in your “tour guide” app, so why deprive yourself? And if it is tiring to read on one’s cellphone, well, only the brave will go to the end. That’s how we recognize them.

Don’t integrate the mobile app with your other mediation tools.

No problem if your app is redundant with other mediation tools. After all, learning as teaching is, above all, repeating. 👌

Make access to information impossible (or, failing that, at least very complicated).

As in spy movies, when one needs an information, one should deserve it. Here is a good way to script the visit!

Forget the practical information.

Visitors are harmful to the preservation of the artworks. They walk their coats wet and full of dust in all the collections, their children are turbulent and god knows how clumsy they get with a selfie stick in the hands. Definitely, it’s way better that they never find out where the museum is and when it’s open.

Do not describe your app in the Stores.

Intrigue the users, maintain the mystery. That’s the key.

Don’t promote your app.

Stendhal dedicated his “Charterhouse of Parma” to the happy few.

Do the same with your app.